There is no greater honor in the history of the world than having your own statue. Who wouldn’t want a metallic version of themselves that looks very little like them that a bunch of people will take pictures with while they perform lewd acts on said statue? Being statueized is literally the highest praise one could ever hope to receive.

And Kareem Abdul-Jabbar wants that praise. Badly. From the Sporting News:

“I don’t understand (it). It’s either an oversight or they’re taking me for granted. I’m not going to try to read people’s minds, but it doesn’t make me happy. It’s definitely a slight. I feel slighted.”

In a subsequent statement passed along by his business manager, Abdul-Jabbar said: “I am highly offended by the total lack of acknowledgement of my contribution to Laker success. I guess being the lynchpin for five world championships is not considered significant enough in terms of being part of Laker history.”

I don’t know if there’s a way to immortalize petulant comments, but if there is, “I guess being the lynchpin for five world championships is not considered significant enough in terms of being part of Laker history” should get all the plaques in the world. Or maybe whenever Kareem does get his statue, it should have this quote engraved on it and a bronze lynchpin in his fake hand.

Because that’s the really funny thing — Kareem is going to get a statue. The Lakers already have it planned and everything. Dude just needs to relax.

The Lakers offered this response, via spokesman John Black:

“We’ve been at Staples Center 11 years and have two ex-players who have statues now. It’s not like we do it every year; we have no timetable. Whenever we do the next statue of the third Los Angeles Lakers player, it (will be) Kareem—and he has been told that. Again, we didn’t say when that was going to be. It could be next year, the year after or several years from now.”

So Kareem is already getting a statue AND he already knows that to be the case? Then what is he complaining about? Is this just a strong-arm tactic to get them started on his statue design? Clever girl.

Obviously, Kareem Abdul-Jabbar needs to chill out. Now that Bill Russell is all statued up, Kareem might be the most statue-worthy retiree alive. He will get his statue. He will wear a Skyhook t-shirt and Skechers Shape-Ups to the ceremony. Someone will Photoshop his terrible jacket on to pictures of the bronze Kareem and we’ll all share a laugh. It’s all good, man.

Until then, just take it easy. After all, complaining about the statue he’s already getting might make the Lakers rethink their decision, like a mom turning this dang car around. No one likes a whiner.

Comments (13)

  1. To be fair everyone outside of staples have not only achieved great success in sports but they have also contributed greatly outside to the community. It’s not until recently that Kareem has become more engaging with everyone.

  2. Mickey Mouse has one and he doesn’t, so he’s kind of bitter about that.

  3. Kareem engaging the public has nothing to do with his accomplishments as a laker fan prior to Kobe Bryant I know the value and significance of a Kareem Abdul-Jabbar

  4. Will the statue be stoned?

  5. @Keith Williams Get punctuation

  6. Umm, I’m positive Kareem Abdul-Jabbar is a muslim, and speaking as a muslim myself, I’m like 99% sure you aren’t allowed to have any statues promoting yourself or others. I recall a story where Hakeem Olajuwan had some statues around his mansion and an Imam told him those are forbidden in Islam, and he immediately defaced them or got rid of them.

    So this is kind of a strange situation…

  7. That is a very good point. Maybe because he wouldn’t own it, it’s OK? I don’t know nearly enough about Islam to have any idea though.

  8. Mad props on the Jurassic Park clip.

  9. What up Taco Trey!

    Olajuwon refused a statue from the Rockets based on his Islamic beliefs – they build him a monument instead (http://sports.espn.go.com/nba/news/story?id=3246789).

  10. What up Taco Trey!

    Olajuwon refused a statue from the Rockets based on his Islamic beliefs – they built him a monument instead (http://sports.espn.go.com/nba/news/story?id=3246789).

  11. [...] plus thoughts on TNT’s high-angle zip-line camera, as well as Kareem Abdul Jabbar’s “I want a damn statue!” comments. Enjoy.LINKS: TBJ Facebook | TBJ Store | TBJ Playoff Picks********* Subscribe to the video [...]

  12. I think that Kareem’s cancer scare plus the fact that he’s in his mid sixties plus having to watch years of everybody fawning over Magic, Shaq and Kobe have made him extra impatient about cementing his legacy, and if you add in his off-the-charts propensity for whining, you get quotes like these. Or maybe he’s just really upset that Chick Hearn got a statue without ever having to put on the short shorts.

  13. There’s a part there you guys didn’t feature, about Kareem complaining about the Lakers putting him in a seat that he couldn’t be comfortable with because he was too tall, while the rest of the coaches sat in more plush seats up front.

    As a dude who’s pretty tall in a country not known for tall people, I know what it’s like to have to squeeze into a seat that’s just not built for you, and it really isn’t fun. In fact it’s downright physically painful. The fact that there were open seats up front that the Lakers didn’t have the grace to offer him must’ve also felt like a real snub.

    I think that the statue bit is just the straw that broke the camel’s back, and people are making a big deal out of it because…well let’s face it, it’s a little ridiculous to complain that you don’t have a statue. It doesn’t mean that his being left out in the cold by Laker management isn’t true though.

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