Miami Heat at Chicago Bulls
Hopefully LeBron got some vital nutrients in his Super Big Gulp Sprite, that way he’s 100 percent for tonight’s game. Otherwise, those 3am taquitos are going to taste pretty sad.

The 1996 Bullets Dancing
You were probably thinking you’d die before you saw Juwan Howard, Ben Wallace, Calbert Cheaney and Crystal Waters dancing together, but you were wrong. Feel free to pass on now.

Mitch Hedberg’s New Site
Hedberg’s widow has relaunched his website and there is a ton of never-before-seen stuff over there. New videos, writings and other things that will make you laugh. Very awesome.

“Wal-Mart” — Mr. Ghetto
Without a doubt, the best music video for a song about Wal-Mart that you will ever see.

Gwyneth Paltrow Rapping
Finally, we get to hear what G. Pal — her rap name, probably, because that sounds like something she’d pick — sounds like on the mic. The answer is exactly what you would expect, in that it is very bad.

(doodle by Andrew Gragg)