If you are anything like me, you have waited your entire life for Carlos Boozer to drop a hot 16 over some fat beats. Even when you were a stupid little baby, couldn’t talk and didn’t know that Boozer existed, there was a deep longing somewhere inside of you. It’s only today that that emptiness gets filled.

Yes friends, that is Carlos Boozer rapping with Twista and Mario Winans, for the Bulls’ playoff anthem, “Winning Streak.” It debuted last night at the United Center, immediately jinxing the Bulls and causing them to lose to the Heat. Thanks for nothing, Twista.

Make no mistake, this song is not good. However, it is entirely great in that it exists as documentation that Carlos Boozer has joined the storied list of basketball players who tried rapping and are not good at rapping. While it’s impressive that he’s able to complete an entire half-verse without screaming about fouls or rebounds, he also says “Mic check one-two, one-two” roughly 53 times. Also, no one calls them shoestrings anymore, unless he’s talking about tiny potatoes.

But that doesn’t matter. What truly matters is that Carlos Boozer is now a rapper, possibly the greatest in Alaska’s storied musical history. Sorry, Trajan Langdon, but your yodeling duet with Jewel has just been surpassed.

(via Foul Balls/SB Nation)