Joe Lacob, Warriors owner: Hi, Mark. We’re really glad you’re able to meet with us today.

Mark Jackson: Are you kidding me?

Jerry West, consultant: OK, so let’s get in to some Xs and Os. We’re kind of notorious for our poor defense. How would you change that?

MJ: Hand down, man down.

JL: Excuse me?

MJ: Hand down, man down.

JL: So … you’d tell the team to keep their hands down?

MJ: You’re better than that.

JW: You’d tell them to keep them up?

MJ: Mama, there goes that man. (points at West and winks)

JW: What?

MJ: Are you kidding me?

JW: No, I’m serious. What about my mama? (raises fist)

MJ: Calm down, palm down.

JL: Easy guys. Easy. Let’s talk offense. We’re known for playing uptempo. We score a lot. We’ve got talented offensive players. Fans love it. We’d like that to stay the same. Your thoughts?

MJ: I’mma care, knows that fan.

JL: OK, good. We care about the fans too.

MJ: Fans down, brand’s down.

JL: Exactly. So, you’re saying you’d be OK playing fast?

MJ: Are you kidding me?

JW: He’s not.

MJ: I’mma propose that plan.

JW: Good. Let’s talk nutrition. In today’s NBA, it’s important for a team to be in perfect shape, especially when you play how we do. How would you implement good health among our players?

MJ: Can down, Spam down.

JL: No soda, no processed foods. I like it.

MJ: Mama, there goes that flan.

JW: No desserts either. Nice.

MJ: Store cheddar, thin fat.

JL: Yes, yes. Get rid of the cheese. Eliminate as much fat as possible. Very impressive.

JW: This has really been great, Mark.

MJ: Are you bidding me?

JL: Actually, we are. We’d like you to be the new coach of the Golden State Warriors. (reaches under table)

MJ: Mama, where goes that hand?

JW: He’s just grabbing the contract, Mark. Relax.

MJ: Sign now, pine now?

JL: Yep, just sign right here and you’re in charge or the starters, the bench, everything.

MJ: (signs contract) Pen down, when now?

JL: We’ll let you finish up the Finals with ABC, but then it’s time for work. Really excited about this, Coach.

MJ: Mama, there goes that chan’. (laughs)

JL: Yep, no more TV work. See you soon. Take care.