According to Wikipedia, Brian Cardinal is nicknamed “The Custodian” because of “the way he cleaned the floor diving for loose balls.” A since-edited version of his page said it was “because he holds one of the many keys to victory.” These are both excellent reasons to be nicknamed The Custodian.

However, that’s not the true story, at least according to Brian Cardinal. From TrueHoop:

“Many moons ago,” he explains of his teenage years, “back at the Tolono Park District, I was kind of the maintenance guy. I lined the baseball diamonds. I did a little jack-of-all-trades work. Did some cleaning of the toilets, in the bathrooms there at the park.”

Fair enough. If Brian Cardinal being nicknamed The Custodian is because he was an actual custodian as a teenager, then that is a fine reason. It doesn’t have the sizzle of those other two explanations, but a nickname like The Custodian doesn’t really need a sparkling backstory. A workmanlike player deserves a workmanlike nickname deserves a workmanlike origin.

As for his other nickname — well, he is your father. Duh.