Here is a philosophical question that has been troubling history’s greatest minds for eons upon eons: Who is DeShawn Stevenson if he’s not talking smack?

The answer, of course, is impossible to know, as there has never been a time in the entire history of Earth when DeShawn Stevenson wasn’t saying or doing something about his opponents. Even before he was born, he somehow found a way to say his mom’s womb didn’t have enough amniotic fluid. No one’s been able to figure out how he pulled that one off.

This year’s NBA Finals have been no different, as DeShawn has already called LeBron James and Dwyane Wade “great actors,” with regards to their flopping abilities. After Tuesday’s Game 4 win, he offered this take on the Heat’s toughness. Or rather, lack there of. From Eye On Basketball:

“We have to get into the ball,” DeShawn Stevenson said. “They don’t want to play a tough game.”

That’s Stevenson, talking about defense while just casually mentioning how the Heat are a bunch of sissies who’d rather pick flowers and write sonnets than throw down on a basketball court. This seems to be his new move — talking strategy while just slightly zinging the Heat. Very effective.

And just like when he was talking about how great the Heat are at flopping and the Mavericks need to be careful with their fouls, there’s truth in DeShawn’s latest proclamation. There are times when the Heat seem to slink away when things get rough. That’s not a referendum on their manliness or the tired old trope of “they’re soft,” it’s just the reality that the Heat are susceptible to, for lack of a better word, getting punked. That’s why people assumed the Celtics would handle Miami, because they’d shown that by beating them up, you can get them off their game.

That being said, DeShawn Stevenson probably isn’t thinking of the psychological components of what he said when he’s talking about defense. He’s probably just thinking that he’s the one guy on the court who has a crack tattooed on his face because he doesn’t crack, which is still the greatest, and only, oxymoron in NBA face tattoo history. To him, he’s the toughest dude around, and that’s what’s going to win the Mavericks the series. Maybe he’s right, but if he’s not, I don’t think that’s going to stop him from talking about it.

Comments (6)

  1. Deshawn Stevenson and Jet make Lebron a likeable person. He will shut them both tonight. I can’t believe I’m saying this as a Lakers fan.

  2. Over the past few years, I’ve learned that the biggest trash talkers, unless they were superstars themselves (Shaq on the Sac Queens), tend to lose big series/Finals. As well as their own credibility.

    He is Deshawn Stevenson. You know, Deshawn Stevenson.

  3. Has any career 7.7 PPG scorer ever talked more smack than DeShawn?

  4. As I’m pretty sure everyone else was already thinking.
    He talks trash because he has nothing else.
    Soulja Boy should drop either James or 30 points one night then maybe his words would mean something. Until then grow up.

  5. More specific.. By beating the Heat up you get LeBron off his game. He’s not built for a dog fight,

  6. [...] make you keep talking smack about the Heat, do it.This is your time, DeShawn. As TBJ commenter Nate points out, you have the chance to become the NBA’s most famous trash talker who averages less than [...]

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