Mark Cuban is an innovator, this much we know. As far as I can tell, he invented high definition televisions, radio over the Internet and Twitter, making him a billionaire a few times over. As such, he can’t do something boring like championship rings. So he’s doing something different. From Eye On Basketball:

“I might not get rings,” the Mavs’ billionaire owner told NBATV. “Rings are old school. You’ve seen it before: There’s guys who pick up the sweats and towels and they have these big, blingy rings. I’m like, ‘Rings are done. It’s time to take it to the next level.’”

Fair enough, Mr. Blingy Rings. But what will he do instead? Here are some suggestions.

Crowns — Not only is a crown the all-time most boss way of proclaiming your greatness, this is also a great way to mock LeBron James. That’s one of Mark Cuban’s favorite things, so this is a very likely ring substitute.

Belt buckles — To begin with, custom belt buckles are awesome. I had a giant “T” one back in college that I lost and am still pretty salty about that. How do you lose a belt buckle? Anyway, moving on. A Mavs belt buckle, forged from solid gold and silver, would be a great look. Plus, since they’re a Texas team, replicas would fly off the shelf. Cuban knows how to make a buck, so this could easily happen.

White horses with blue hair — Since that is apparently what a Maverick is.

Customized commemorative plates — Easy to display, fun to look at and something to treasure for a lifetime, championship commemorative plates would look fantastic next to the Princess Diana and Kate and Wills plates that every middle age housewife already owns. One problem I forsee is that eating off a DeShawn Stevenson plate would be terrifying.

Framed poster-sized reproductions of this picture — As a gag gift, but also as the timeless art of seduction.

Medals of honor — People have shied away from war metaphors in sports — and with good reason — but pinning championship medals of honor on the Mavs’ uniforms next season could be a good look. Against those blue jerseys, they’ll look incredibly regal. Might cause some bloody chests though. That’s a risk I’m willing to take.

Personalized Mavericks football jerseys — Only the finest in sideline garb for these title-winners.

If you can think of anything better than these (doubtful), let’s hear ‘em in the comments.

Comments (32)

  1. Complete DVD sets of the full series of “The Benefactor,” including unaired eps, with a personalized note tucked into the shrink-wrap thanking each Mav for his hard work. Also, each one comes with $31 million.

  2. Oh God, I really hope he is just joshing about not getting rings. Rings are so classic. Dirk Deserves a RING….

    ….or a chalice.

  3. How about an official Mavericks mop and bucket for “the custodian”

  4. Platinum pinky-grills

  5. They could be individual things – Dirk would get a golden awkward baseball hat, or some golden frames, JET would get a golden crooked headband, Stevenson a golden face tattoo, Barea some golden shoe lifts, Marion a golden blue pill, Kidd a golden walker, and Cardinal a golden mop… The possibilities are endless!

  6. championship belts.

    that would be fairly mark cubanish i would think.

  7. Pimp cups.

    Do it Cuban

  8. Forget buckles. Full on Championship Belts. Can’t you see the whole Mavs staff walking out on opening night with giant gold-plated undisputed Heavyweight Champion of the World Belts. That would be Sick.

  9. Custom made championship belts.

  10. I don’t know the ring kind of symbolizes tradition for a champion. But hey it’s your title do it up your way lol. I’d have to say I agree with mariokinsey. The title belt adds a nice touch to things, plus Detroit did the same thing back in ’04.

  11. What about revolutionizing the idea of the ring with a four finger MAVS ring?

  12. Nice to see Josh Howard also celebrating with the team.

  13. What about a watch? You could do something really nice with that, plus it’d probably get a lot more use than a ring.

    I love the crown idea though – awesome.

  14. I love the belt idea, but I’m with Mark on this one – four finger rings FTW!!!!

  15. love this post. the belt buckles, the horse with blue hair. too funny

  16. Mavericks Cars- Sportscars with the player’s numbers on them, Hybrids for the staff. Painted blue and silver

    Mix CD’s- Printed on CD’s made of 48K gold

    Butlers- That look just like Juwan Howard

  17. Life sized chocolate statues of themselves.

  18. Mark Cuban could buy each maverick his own state! DeShawn would get ohio. or florida. no, j kidd would get florida. dirk would obviously own texas, and jj could have rhode island.

  19. iPods. With “NBA Champs 2011″ engraved in the back.

    That’s timeless.

  20. Players should get a replica of the NBA Finals trophy, except instead of the basketball, it’s the player’s face. In DeShawn Stevenson’s case, it’d be Abraham Lincoln’s face.

  21. championship earings. creative.
    championship sports cars would work too.
    the belt idea seems like the most creative.
    although im a huge fan of a ring. if i were dirk i would demand a ring and nothing else.

  22. medeval (sp?) armor.

  23. I second the armor idea. Also, I’m all for gold-plated, diamond encrusted six-shooters.

  24. Rasheed bought championship belts for the Pistons in ’04!!! Bad asssss!

  25. Jewel-encrusted codpieces.

  26. Large chain necklaces like Flava Flav wears, with a large replica of the championship trophy as a pendant instead of a clock.

  27. Champ belts, Aaron Rodgers status

  28. I’d say a tattoo of the championship ring on their finger, you know…where the ring should normally be. Less bulky.
    Along with the ring, each get a house in Akron or Cleveland Ohio?
    Couldn’t be that expensive. Cuban could easily do that.
    Or a letter from Dan Gilbert.

  29. A piece of Lebron, wouldn’t be too hard considering they already carved him up.

  30. I’m going to go with Championship belt, for real. I want the WWE Spinner-type belt. I want an iPod built into each belt, and I want the belt to be made of platinum, diamonds, and LeBron’s blood.

  31. The belt buckle is a great idea since it is Texas. Isn’t that what pro bull riders get when they win?

    Belt buckles, Paul Wall iced grills and a new classic car for each player.

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