Nicknames time, y’all. Just like in 2009 and 2010, here are the best possible monikers for each and every one of last night’s draftees.

1. Kyrie “Kool Hat” Irving
2. “Generic” Derrick Williams
3. “Curtis” Enes Kanter
4. Tristan “Licorice” Thompson
5. Jonas “Workers Are Going Home” Valanciunas
6. Jan Vesely “Jerry”
7. “Return of the” Bismack Biyombo (or any of those other ones)
8. “Mr. Cum Laude” Brandon Knight
9. Kemba Walker “Black Label”
10. Jimmer “Jim” Fredette

11. “O” Klay Thompson
12. Alec “DH” Burks
13. Markieff “The Elder” Morris
14. Marcus “The Younger” Morris
15. Kawhi Leonard aka “Find Him and Kill Him”
16. Nikola “No, I’m Not Already on the Wolves” Vucevic
17. Iman “Bowies In Space” Shumpert
18. Chris “White Sox” Singleton
19. Tobias “I Just Blue Myself” Harris
20. Donatas “Dinosaurs” Motiejunas

21. “Rollin’” Nolan Smith
22. Kenneth “Waka Flocka” Faried
23. Nikola Mirotic”a”
24. Reggie “Enrico Palazzo” Jackson
25. Marshon “Probably a Running Back” Brooks
26. Jordan “Trap Goin’” Hamilton
27. JaJuan “Triple Letter Score” Johnson
28. Norris “Detectives from The Wire” Cole
29. Cory “Secretly Canadian” Joseph
30. Jimmy “1950s” Butler

31. Bojan “The Bogdy” Bogdanovic
32. Justin “Blogspot” Harper
33. Kyle “Sweathead” Singler
34. “Modular” Shelvin Mack
35. Tyler Honeycutt “Cheerios”
36. Jordan Williams aka “Fats”
37. “Torta” Trey Thompkins
38. “Miss” Chandler “Bong” Parsons
39. Jeremy “The Notorious GED” Tyler
40. Jon “Banjo Minnow” Leuer

41. Darius Morris “No Relation”
42. Davis “The Dastardly” Bertans
43. Malcolm “Surfboard” Lee
44. Charles Jenkins aka “Get Serious”
45. Josh “The White Guy from Kentucky” Harrellson
46. Andrew “Aged” Goudelock
47. Travis “Cupid’s Chokehold” Leslie
48. “Not Enough” Keith Benson
49. Josh “Whoops” Selby
50. Lavoy “Truffle” Allen

51. Jon “Mr. Deebs” Diebler
52. “Cracklin’” Vernon Macklin
53. DeAndre “Blue Legs” Liggins
54. Milan “Crackman” Macvan
55. E’Twaun “Pat Welsh” Moore
56. Chukwudiebere “Dr. Chocoberry” Maduabum
57. Targuy/Tanguy “Tanguy/Targuy” Ngombo
58. Ater “Ante Meridien” Majok
59. Adam Hanga aka “The Butcher’s Filet”
60. Isaiah “Not That One” Thomas