Yeah, you’re probably a little strapped for cash after buying those $100,000 sterling silver Jordans, but I think you’re going to want to scrape some money together to get your grubby little hands on these excellent consumer goods. On your left, Dwyane Wade is modeling the watch he designed for Hublot — the King Power “D-Wade” — and on the right is the NBA’s official champagne, Les Jeux.

Let’s talk about Dwyane Wade’s watch first. Or rather, let’s let him. From the New York Daily News:

“I wanted the watch to have basketball characteristics. It’s a combination of a lifestyle and a sports watch. You can dress it up or dress it down,” Wade told WWD at the Hublot’s Madison Avenue flagship.

Wade was named an ambassador of Hublot in February, after the brand found out the basketball superstar was a fan.

“I really wanted to add my subtle details. I wanted it to be authentic to who I am. I think this watch speaks to me and my personality,” Wade said. “My style is classic and gentlemanly with a little spice mixed in.”

I am not a professor of luxury watches, so I cannot speculate as to whether or not people who spend $20,000 on watches, which this one costs, are looking for a timepiece that has a basketball net-themed band as its main selling point. I use my cellular telephone to tell the time, so I’m no expert, but it is definitely a $20,000 that is designed to look like a basketball net. Enough said.

On to the champagne. Here’s Robin Leach, the dude from “Lifestyles of the Rich and Famous,” telling you all about the NBA’s newest liquor. From the Las Vegas Sun:

Shaq signed basketballs for Palms guests and then headed to Moon for his retirement party at a VIP table stocked with the new NBA-sanctioned Les Jeux (The Game) French champagne, and I was even presented with a souvenir bottle by the owners who helped sponsor Shaq’s party. Shaq was presented with a magnum!

I have asked via Twitter if the NBA is the first pro league to sanction its own alcohol drink. This one has NBA legend Jerry West on the label along with the NBA insignia. The owners told me that they will be launching it here in Las Vegas with several NBA star player appearances.

I find it is best to read that passage in Leach’s accent, just so you can truly appreciate the absurdity of the NBA sanctioning a champagne.

Because really, does any sports league need to sponsor their own alcohol? Probably not, but if they are going to, champagne is the way to go, what with all the celebrations and the head-pouring-on and things of this nature. In fact, I can foresee a scenario where the NBA is the No. 1 purchaser of the NBA’s champagne, which they then tout as the official champagne of the NBA. It’s a very “Boiler Room” situation, minus Vin Diesel, unfortunately.

Personally, I will be buying Wade’s watch the day it is released, then I will celebrate that purchase by dumping a bottle of Les Jeux all over my head. It will be like winning my very own NBA championship, all for the low, low price of somewhere around $25,000. That’s WAY less than what Mark Cuban paid earlier this month.

And they say he’s a financial genius.