In the only possible offseason news that could potentially rival the existence of a Kris Humphries and Kim Kardashian reality show in of course-itude, recently retired superhuman Shaquille O’Neal will also be gracing the small screen very soon. If this surprises you, then you need to step your know what’s going on game up.
BREAKING NEWS: Sources have confirmed that @SHAQ has agreed in principle to join Turner
More breaking news: Shaquille O’Neal has legally changed his name to “@SHAQ” because he is slowly becoming the Internet and will eventually turn himself in to pure energy. (Not really, but it seems like a logical progression.)
But yes, Shaq is joining Turner, which means we’ll surely be seeing him on “Inside the NBA” at some point. He’s appeared on the show before, he’s super famous, people are convinced he is hilarious, and he’s instantly the most marketable “analyst” working in basketball. Of course he’s going to be on Turner’s main basketball program. Maybe he’ll do a brief stint on NBATV, but I wouldn’t be surprised if he’s called up to the majors immediately.
When he’s there, who knows what’ll happen. Him and Charles Barkley will be good for some laughs, but when Shaq inevitably starts doing his monosyllabic answering bit, that might not be the best TV. And, of course, there’s the very real possibility that putting Chuck and Shaq at the same table could lead to halftimes that are entirely devoted to shots of those two laughing while Ernie Johnson tries to get things back on track while Kenny Smith is just yelling for no reason.
But Shaq was made to be a television personality. It’ll be hilarious to see him try to do a serious interview, but when he’s just talking shop, I’m sure he’ll be great. And if not, he can just have surgery at the beginning of the season so he doesn’t have to talk about any Bucks-Bobcats games while he’s preparing for the playoffs. That plan worked in the NBA, so might as well give it another shot.