News broke today that Brandon Jennings has scored an internship with Under Armour, the shoe company who he endorses. His title: “Curator of Cool.” Feels like nepotism, but good for him. He’s found a way to better himself during the lockout, working out at Under Armour’s Baltimore facilities while doubling up and performing his internly duties when he’s not in the gym or doing karate.
As Marc J. Spears of Yahoo! Sports reported, he’s been meeting with the company’s basketball and running divisions, helping out with design and things of that nature. But there has to be more. He’s got 40 hours a week to fill, often with menial tasks and random things that people need done.
Here are a few of the things Under Armour’s new Curator of Cool will probably be doing:
- Answering phones with the standard Under Armour greeting: “This is Under Armour. I’m Brandon. How can I help you protect your house?”
- Running the company’s Tumblr. All the cool guys have Tumblrs. Even Val Kilmer.
- Probably growing a post-ironic mustache.
- Signing up for Instagram, mastering all the sweet filters and taking pictures of all the food he eats.
- Proposing rebranding effort to executives that will change company name to “ndr rmr.’ All lowercase with no vowels is so in right now.
- Scoring Google+ and Spotify invites for the entire office. The social media realm moves quick, and if Under Armour wants to stay competitive, they need to be connected.
- Spearheading movement to replace prepackaged, reheated crab cakes on snack cart with artisanal crab cakes from local vendors who sourced their meat from area fisheries.
- Marketing the company’s iPhone app with numerous email blast campaigns, eventually becoming known as “The App Guy.”
- Just owning the foosball table. Owning it, man. No spinning.
- Scouring the local thrift stores to find some ideas that he can bring back to the design department. Look forward to UA’s moisture-wicking plaid buttonups this fall.
As you can see, Brandon Jennings is going to be very busy this summer. Good thing Under Armour has a gym on campus so he can stay in shape in case the NBA ever gets it together and decides to have a season. If not, at least he’s got a pretty nice fallback job lined up.