Amar’e Stoudemire is writing a children’s book, duh. Here are some ideas that will surely garner several Newbery Medals.

Amar’e Stoudemire and the Square Gardens — The story of a child wizard who must defeat the evil Lord Dolanmort in order to restore good in Madison Square Garden. Fantasy story, obviously, since the final book would end with the New York Knicks winning an NBA title.

The Velveteen Randolph — Zach Randolph is a discarded, unloved power forward who just wants to be real. Once he ends up in Memphis, he finally achieves his dream and it lasts forever. Or at least until he goes to a strip club.

The Very Hungry Brademiller — A picture book of one of Brad Miller’s hunting expeditions, as told through the eyes of an anthropomorphic caterpillar. Despite its influential visual style, this book is quite gruesome as it details each and every kill on one of Brad’s weekend long crossbow trips.

Goodnight Jamario Moon — Jamario Moon tells a bunch of things good night.

The Giving Knee — Amar’e Stoudemire is a young boy who grows up with his knees sacrificing everything they have to make his life better. Eventually, those battered old knees give out on Amar’e, only to be reconstructed with science. In the climactic final scene, those knees tell Amar’e that they have given all they can give and Amar’e says it’s more than enough. His knees then explode.