Kevin Durant is finally going to star in a movie. Since this is his first role of any sort, we thought we’d make things easy on him by pitching some great movie ideas. Any of these would win all the Academy Awards.
“The Machinist” was a good movie that was overshadowed by Christian Bale losing a gross amount of weight to play the film’s lead. Since Kevin Durant is already that skinny, a remake would give this film the chance it deserves, since we all know that movies starring athletes get immediate respect.
If there were any player in today’s NBA that could fill Michael Jordan’s Air Jordan XIs in “Space Jam,” it’s Kevin Durant. But in “Space Jam: Full Throttle,” things are even Space Jam-ier. We’re talking dunks from farther than half court, no Shawn Bradley and more Bill Murray. This seems a little too predicable.
Rather than a creampuff “Space Jam” reboot — important, for sure, but too on-the-nose — how about a gritty survival film based on a Japanese thriller. In “Battle Royale” Kevin Durant is forced in to a nationally televised one-on-one tournament where the loser of each game is killed immediately after it ends. Durant would be playing against type by signing on for a movie like this, but I smell Oscar.
If he’s set on playing the villain, how about he plays up the Durantula thing and terrorizes a small town? Not only does “Eight Legged Freaks” sound like an excellent idea, David Arquette already has experience working with NBA players, so you know he won’t be intimidated by Durant. Seems like a no-brainer.
Then again, I think a “He Got Game” sequel could do really well at the box office. Jesus Shuttlesworth is all grown up and starring for the Boston Celtics, but now he has to deal with his son, Moses, who is going through a recruiting battle just like Jesus did in high school. Shave that goatee and Durant looks young enough to play an 18-year-old, so that works out nicely. In the climactic one-on-one battle, Denzel Washington will show up with an even bigger Afro, and everyone will have a hearty laugh. Comic relief is important.
This is just a starting point. While any of these movies would be successful both commercially and critically, there are obviously a bunch more roles out there that would be perfect for Kevin Durant. If you want to suggest some, that’d be cool. Just leave them in the comments.