For most of us basketball fans, Eddy Curry has been a joke for a long time. A once-promising giant of a man, he eventually just became a giant man, gaining weight at an incredible rate, getting hurt in simple drills and failing to get on the court, even for horrible teams. If you needed a fat guy to finish off your NBA quip, Eddy was your man. When that earthquake hit earlier this week, the zings started flowing.

That’s been the case for a few years now, at least for us common folk. But apparently, even the most aristocratic among us are using Curry as their go-to tag line. From the Washington Post:

“When we had Tariq Abdul-Wahad, he didn’t seem to want to train, didn’t really want to practice — he really was interested in a lot of things besides basketball,” [Mark Cuban] said, according to three participants who attended the meeting, all of whom spoke on condition of anonymity.

Cuban added Abdul-Wahad, the former player whose physical ailments sidelined him for a full two seasons while with the Mavericks, had a guaranteed contract of six years, $40 million. “And I’m stuck with that,” he said, the participants remembered.

A lawyer for the players’ union then shot back that J.J. Barea, an emerging spark off the bench for the Mavericks en route to their first NBA championship, was making a pittance of $1 million for his considerable talent. “How about that? You’re getting a bargain in a guy like J.J. Barea.”

Finally, NBA Commissioner David Stern could not take it anymore.

“All right, you want to go tit for tat, I’ll go tit for tat,” Stern said, according to the participants. “I’ll see you J.J. Barea and raise you Eddy Curry.”

That’s cold, David Stern. Eddy’s been losing weight, man. Almost 50 pounds, and you have to remind everyone that he’s been the biggest waste of a contract ever? Harsh. Plus, Stern threw in a subliminal boobs joke, just to drive the point home. The man’s ruthless.

I’m guessing that shut the room up pretty quick. It’s hard to argue that any bargain the owners have had is better than how bad Eddy Curry’s monstrous contract was. Stern wins again, flawless victory.

It’s like they say: “Don’t bring a J.J. Barea to an Eddy Curry fight.”

(via SB Nation)

Comments (10)

  1. I don’t understand this argument at all. Eddy Curry didn’t steal that contract, and neither did Abdul-Wahad. You put it in front of them. If you offer me like eight times as much as I’m worth I’m not gonna turn it down. Just offer me less money. It’s the owners’ fault those players were overpaid by inflating the market.

  2. Good point by Stern, but him and the owners are acting like they were FORCED to pay big money for crap players. If every team hires Isiah Thomas (or David Kahn) and signs a bunch of bums to max deals is that the players fault?! I get that it’s not solely the league/teams fault, but have a bit of responsibility, if Tariq didnt want to play ball maybe you should have had a bit of a deeper look at his past or give him an incentive based deal or something Cuban. Saying oh I paid a bum a lot of money and he ended up being a bum is hardly an empowering argument for the owners.

  3. The point isn’t that teams are forced to give bad players big contracts, it’s that they BECOME bad players once they’ve signed the contract, and the team can do nothing about it once the deal is signed.

    If a promising player signs a big deal, then decides that he doesn’t feel like working anymore now that he got paid, there is nothing the team can do but keep playing said player. That’s what Cuban and Stern are talking about. And it would be hard to sign any player to a purely incentive-based deal, because there are other teams competing for the player’s services.

  4. Andy’s right. The owners are fighting for either shorter contracts or non-guaranteed contracts as a way to make their investments more worthwhile.

    But that’s beside the point. The funny thing is that David Stern is making Eddy Curry jokes, which we can all agree is hilarious.

  5. if the owners can stand in solidarity to screw fans out of a season, why can’t they just stand in solidarity to stop offering ridiculous contracts. seems like this all boys down to the players and fans paying the price for their own degenerate behavior.

  6. shorter contracts is the way to go. any other hawks fans out there can relate

  7. that sucks… if i was eddy curry id come back with a vengence… :D

  8. Problem is that there will always be some owners who don’t mind spending millions of dollars on subpar players. They’ve got the money, so why not spend it? Plus, collusion is illegal.

  9. Which is what makes Mark Cuban’s crying laughable.

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