For most of us basketball fans, Eddy Curry has been a joke for a long time. A once-promising giant of a man, he eventually just became a giant man, gaining weight at an incredible rate, getting hurt in simple drills and failing to get on the court, even for horrible teams. If you needed a fat guy to finish off your NBA quip, Eddy was your man. When that earthquake hit earlier this week, the zings started flowing.

That’s been the case for a few years now, at least for us common folk. But apparently, even the most aristocratic among us are using Curry as their go-to tag line. From the Washington Post:

“When we had Tariq Abdul-Wahad, he didn’t seem to want to train, didn’t really want to practice — he really was interested in a lot of things besides basketball,” [Mark Cuban] said, according to three participants who attended the meeting, all of whom spoke on condition of anonymity.

Cuban added Abdul-Wahad, the former player whose physical ailments sidelined him for a full two seasons while with the Mavericks, had a guaranteed contract of six years, $40 million. “And I’m stuck with that,” he said, the participants remembered.

A lawyer for the players’ union then shot back that J.J. Barea, an emerging spark off the bench for the Mavericks en route to their first NBA championship, was making a pittance of $1 million for his considerable talent. “How about that? You’re getting a bargain in a guy like J.J. Barea.”

Finally, NBA Commissioner David Stern could not take it anymore.

“All right, you want to go tit for tat, I’ll go tit for tat,” Stern said, according to the participants. “I’ll see you J.J. Barea and raise you Eddy Curry.”

That’s cold, David Stern. Eddy’s been losing weight, man. Almost 50 pounds, and you have to remind everyone that he’s been the biggest waste of a contract ever? Harsh. Plus, Stern threw in a subliminal boobs joke, just to drive the point home. The man’s ruthless.

I’m guessing that shut the room up pretty quick. It’s hard to argue that any bargain the owners have had is better than how bad Eddy Curry’s monstrous contract was. Stern wins again, flawless victory.

It’s like they say: “Don’t bring a J.J. Barea to an Eddy Curry fight.”

(via SB Nation)