Once upon a time, Ron Artest pledged to wear a different number every year he was in the NBA. For whatever reason, I can’t find that article online, so you’re going to have to believe me. And really, is it that hard to believe? The guy’s worn 15, 23, 91, 15 again, 93, 96, 37 and 15 again, which is pretty conclusive evidence that my brain is fully functional.

Today, his name change to Metta World Peace is going to become official, and along with it, he’ll be wearing a new number whenever the season starts. His reasoning, of course, is very Ron Artesty. From Yahoo! Sports’ Marc J. Spears:

“I’m changing it to 70 because it’s like something to do with the universe,” Artest said. “Everything kind of repeats itself. The universe is one. It’s the same thing. Healthy minds, just keeping the kids positive.”

When a guy decides to change his name to Metta World Peace in order to promote world peace which is an idea that is pretty well-known and well-received already, “because it’s like something to do with the universe” makes total sense as a reason to start wearing No. 70. If you choose Metta World Peace as your name, literally any explanation is acceptable.

“Oh, you’re Metta World Peace now and you want to wear 70 because of something to do with the universe and to keep kids positive. Sure, why not? That is not the most nonsensical thing you’ve done.” — all of us

I am not a numerology expert, nor am I Tom Hanks in the documentary film “The Da Vinci Code,” but I cannot seem to find instances of 70 repeating itself in the universe. Some physics message board discussion regarding the universe repeating itself mentions that there exists a finite number of atoms spread out over a finite distance and that number of atoms is 1×10^70, but that’s about it and my head wants to explode from even trying to understand that. That seems like the opposite of repeating itself to me.

70 shows up a handful of times in Christian and Jewish religious texts, but “Metta” derives from a Buddhist word so I guess throw that out too. It is almost like Ron Artest doesn’t know what he’s talking about. Then again, maybe he chose 70 because it is the only mathematical “weird number” that would fit on a jersey. Ron Artest picking something called a weird number makes a whole lot of sense to me.

As does the fact that Dennis Rodman wore No. 70 during his 12-game stint with the Mavericks. This wouldn’t be the first time Artest has honored Rodman with a jersey number, and considering The Worm just went in the Hall of Fame, I’m guessing this is the real real answer. Mystery solved. Very important and definitely worth all the words.