At 12:56 am, my mom texted me to let me know that Ron Artest was going to be on “Dancing with the Stars,” even though that story had broken about 12 hours earlier. But with news this important, you have to share it immediately, especially if your son happens to run a prestigious blog. I’m not mad at her.
In fact, because she’s so excited that her obsessive reality dance television viewing habits and my basketball fandom have overlapped, I asked her to give me the scouting report on her favorite competition.
Trey-Trey, Guess what?! Ron Artest is going to be on “Dancing with the Stars.” I recognized his name from your posts. So if he’s on, does that mean the lockout is permanent or is he an ex-NBAer?
From the looks of him, he’s very large and very smiley, but looks way too gangly to go very far … except he is up against Chaz Bono, so I’m guessing Ron will make it farther than Cher’s offspring.
Aren’t you proud of me for recognizing his name?
All of that makes sense to me, and I’m very proud of her for recognizing his name, especially considering she’s called Allen Iverson “Iver Anderson” for years. Progress.
I’m really looking forward to Ron on this show, mostly so I can enjoy my mom trying to explain him to me. That’s impossible for someone who’s followed him for years, so I can’t wait to see what someone who’s watching him for the first time thinks. Ron Artest is on the verge of becoming a household name, and that’s very exciting. The fact that he’ll probably be calling himself Metta World Peace by then is even better.
And yes, my mom calls me Trey-Trey sometimes. Laugh it up.