For years and years and years, we’ve chalked up Michael Jordan’s basketball triumphs to his intense competitive fire, virtually unmatched in the history of professional sports. Well, also the fact that he is supremely talented and can jump very, very high, but the competitive thing too. That is second important and skill is first important, but it is close. Put those two things together, and you have the best basketball player ever.

Except, as Charles Barkley explains, it is because of a lack of canine companionship that he became so competitive in the first place. From Sports Radio Interviews, via Deadspin:

“Michael, I think one of the reasons why he’s been mad since junior high, is because he hasn’t had dogs in his life. You know if you make Michael mad, he never forgets it. I think if he had some dogs, I think that would calm him down. I’m telling you! He remembers everything anybody ever did or said about him in his life, and I think if he had some dogs, that would take some of the venom away.”

OK sure, yeah, this makes sense. Because Michael Jordan never had a dog he became super competitive which made him never forget a single slight which drove him to become the world’s greatest basketball player. That seems logical and pretty much the best explanation for how Michael Jordan became such a killer, because dogs certainly make you happy. (Unless you are DMX, in which case they make you happy but also angry, sad and police officer impersonation-y.)

All this time we thought it was getting “cut” from his basketball team in high school that drove Michael Jordan to become the most intensely driven basketball player anyone has ever seen. Turns out it was just because his parents are cat people.