You have probably spent a lot of sleepless nights wondering what the New Jersey Nets are going to be called when they move to Brooklyn. Because you are the world’s biggest Nets fan, this is the kind of thing that keeps you awake. It’s not that big of a deal though, so you should probably just go to sleep. Besides, if they’re already called the Nets and they’re moving to Brooklyn, it kind of makes sense that they’d just be called the Brooklyn Nets. New York Nets sounds too similar to New Jersey Nets and the Knicks probably have some sort of proprietary rights over being “New York’s team,” or whatever.
Now you can rest easy, because a Nets official has confirmed the team’s half-new name. It’s what you’d guess. From the New York Daily News:
Rap mogul Jay-Z will headline a series of concerts to open Brooklyn’s new Nets arena next fall – and will make it official Monday: The team will be named for his hometown.
The superstar, who owns a small piece of the soon-to-be renamed Brooklyn Nets, will perform at eight concerts to celebrate the grand opening of the arena – where all-access passes are going for up to $15,400 a season.
There ya go, the Brooklyn Nets, just like what makes total sense since they are the Nets and they will be playing in Brooklyn. Good to know.
Now, all they have to do is figure out how to market New Jersey’s historically bad NBA team to the basketball crazy New Yorkers, many of whom have always been and always will be Knicks fans. Don’t worry though. They’ve got some ideas. From the New York Post:
Their game plan is set to target Wall Streeters and residents of upscale neighborhoods like TriBeCa and SoHo.
The turf war will be fought with billboards, 150 taxi tops, 60 telephone kiosks and a whopping 250,000 coffee cups to be distributed to local stores.
“We’ll be blanketing Wall Street with the coffee cups,” said Yormark.
Classic name change strat. First you change the name, then you give out the coffee cups to hot shot bankers. Look up the definition of marketing in the dictionary, and that’s what you’ll find if you have a terribly inaccurate dictionary.
The next step, of course, is for Jay-Z to somehow figure out a way to put the Brooklyn Nets in a song. Somehow, I don’t think that will be a problem.