The [BLANK] Jones: Karaoke

It’s the summer. There’s an NBA lockout. We’re bored as hell and we’re not going to take it anymore!

Welcome to The [BLANK] Jones …

On today’s show, we set out to improve your private room karaoke experience. What should one NEVER do when singing? Who and what is a designated S.I.P.? What should you always look for when selecting a rap song? And what’s suitable off-the-mic back-of-the-room etiquette? All that, plus “Cruise Ship Karaoke Steve,” hand-clappin’, Walker Texas Ranger’s favorite band, our personal “go-to” jams, and whole lot of bad singing.

And remember: “Karaoke audiences are like dogs and bears — they can smell fear.”


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Comments (21)

  1. Karoake rap has a high risk-reward quotient. “Hey Ya!” is a great pick, Trey, as is almost any OutKast song–I did “Ms. Jackson” at karaoke last night and it worked. As someone whose karaoke version of NaS’s “Made You Look” is quite well-regarded, my go-tos are ALL rap. Also, because I can’t sing for shit.

  2. I do hip hop from time to time. That being said, 90′s pop is the best. Donna Lewis anyone?

  3. although, best performance i ever did was, “Why Can’t this be Love” by Van Halen

  4. The first song is the most important song of the night. Fire it up, high energy or your night is sunk til everyone is drunk. Obvious as it might be, Sweet Caroline is a great opener.

  5. Also, Tas, I’m so fucking sick of Sweet Caroline. They play it at every. single. red sox. home game. Any time I hear it in the Boston area, I want to leave Karaoke.

  6. Hey, teamregime, I understand we’ve all heard it 500000 times. I like it more for the end of the night when we’re less in to our preconceived notions and have no choice but to feel the song. And you can’t tell me you don’t feel that song.

  7. Sweet Caroline is only tolerable once you’re around the tenth beer. Otherwise it’s like nails on a chalkboard.

  8. This show was great; although I really wanted to hear Tas do Mr. Saxobeat. I agree with your “genteel statutes” and offer another one:
    If you are going to pick a gag song, you have to sell it. You can’t laugh or anything. If I’m being serenaded by another man singing “Hungry Eyes”, he damn well better look sincere.

  9. HAH! 13:31 – here’s skeets being canadian twice in a row: “what [aboat], what [aboat]…”
    nice1 :D

  10. “King of Wishful Thinking” always reminded me of the Gracie Films jingle at the end of Simpsons episodes:

  11. ugh! ‘always’, matt?!? are you serious?!? oh my god that song’s just atrocious!

  12. Matt has the right pronounciation of “En Vogue” (of course, he’s a snob).
    Also, you first-language-english motherfuckers are lucky for Karaoke….

    Oh yeah, “what aboat”!

  13. Needs moar Purple Rain

  14. I’m a little alarmed that, of all subjects, this was the most focused Blank Jones yet. I miss the tangents.

  15. i’ve never been to karaoke. this episode doesn’t make me want to change that situation.

  16. I’ve been, but I can never find anything on the typical karaoke list that I would actually want to sing, but don’t like too much to want to avoid butchering it.

    “It’s good, but I don’t care if I ruin it” is a hard category to fill.

    So I just watch other people and get hammered.

  17. more lyrics that arent lyrics

  18. Livin on a prayer?

  19. Bad Touch by The Bloodhound Gang is good after about the fifth drink. It’s also my go-to in a bar setting, since the point of karaoke in front of strangers (which apparently you’ve missed) is for you and your friends to embarrass yourselves as much as possible.

  20. I’ve only sung one song at karaoke… Tiny Dancer.

    It was brutal… just kept going… the S.I.P. didn’t cut it short.

    Changing the lyrics to Tony Danza didn’t help either… hold me closer Tony Danza!

  21. Microsoft (MSFT) may be a bit behind Google (GOOG) and Apple (AAPL) when it comes to creating a voice-enabled personal assistant for its mobile devices, but it seems the company does have plans to add better speech recognition capabilities to its Bing mobile app in the near future. MSFTKitchen has posted a video demonstration of a new prototype for voice recognition software on Windows Phone devices that’s intended to show how Microsoft has worked to reduce latency and word recognition errors while improving phones’ ability to accurately hear you in crowded, noisy areas.’

    My current online site

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