This coming weekend is make-or-break time for the NBA. Sources tell other people that if significant progress isn’t made in lockout negotiations starting Friday, that the entire season is in jeopardy. (No Alex Trebek.) While it appears that both sides are hopeful that a deal is made and we get a full 82 games out of this stupidity, there are going to be a whole bunch of tricky clauses that will make everybody happy for a few years before we do this whole dumb dance over again.

If you’re the kind of NBA fan who remembers the Allan Houston Rule and the Trent Tucker Rule, then you’ve probably already guessed that these clauses have been given ridiculous names. Below I’ve listed five proposed ideas for the new collective bargaining agreement, two of which are real, as reported by ESPN’s Marc Stein. The other three are made up. Guess correctly and you’re on the inside track to facing off with Adam Silver when this CBA runs out.

  • Supertax — A sliding system that would charge teams $2 in luxury tax for every dollar over $70 million in payroll, $3 for every dollar over $75 million in payroll and $4 for every dollar for teams with payrolls above $80 million.
  • Condemnation clause — Allows NBA teams the opportunity to host a public forum where three players are presented before an audience while the team’s owner interrogates the players. After all questions have been answered, the owner takes an applause poll to see which player should be released from the team. The least applauded player’s contract will be fully paid but will not count against the salary cap or luxury tax numbers.
  • Brad Miller Rule — Until he retires, NBA teams must ensure — either via trade or free agency — that Brad Miller plays on whichever team Rick Adelman is coaching.
  • Power amortization — Increases the amount of time that a franchise’s owner can claim a portion of the team’s purchase price as a business expense from 15 years to infinity years. Subclause also allows teams to build unevenly on their properties (e.g. a franchise can by a hotel on one property, two houses on another while refusing to build anything on the third street in their monopoly).
  • Carmelo Rule — Would prevent teams — as the New York Knicks did in February with Anthony — from using a Bird exception to sign or extend a player acquired by trade unless they are acquired before July 1 of the final season of the player’s contract.

Answers are here, so make sure to carefully consider these options. Negotiating is a tricky business, so it’s best to be thorough in your evaluations. Each of these five ideas stipulations is very confusing and highly technical, but if that’s what is going to solve the lockout, then that’s what we need to see happen. Good luck haggling!