Look, I am as happy as anyone that the NBA season is going to start on Christmas, but NBA.com touting a three-quarters long campaign that begins almost two months late because of a league-induced work stoppage is a pretty weird definition of a “BIG thing.” It is more of a “Please forget about that whole lockout thing thing” if you ask me.
So maybe there is something more “BIG thing” that is going to be announced besides the five-game Christmas Day schedule that everyone already knows about. Here are six very likely hypotheses:
- Rather than seeking trades, new CBA clause allows Chris Paul and Dwight Howard to form their own franchise exclusively for players who have two first names. Paul and Howard will be joined by Brandon Roy, Anthony Randolph, Shawn Marion and will be coached by Lawrence Frank.
- League has finally perfected time warp technology that will allow them to transport back in time to play missed games. Only catch is for each day we go back, an equal amount of games will be taken off of Zach Randolph’s career. The machine, ironically, is called The 50/50 Switch.
- Madlib/Freddie Gibbs collaboration Madgibbs expanded to include Jimmy Page and will be called “Madgibbson Les Paul.”
- Someone found Mike Miller’s jump shot. Gilbert Arenas’ still missing.
- Everyone just kidding about Adam Morrison maybe coming back to the NBA.
- New video player option that allows users to play games in reverse. In related news, LeBron James retroactively named 2011 NBA Finals MVP.
There are really a lot of different things that could happen. I’m sure you have some of your own ideas that you should just leave in the comments.