What is even going on any more?

From Chris Broussard:

Sources say Brandon Roy to announce medical retirement due to degenerative knees, possibly as soon as today

Now this is from Chris Broussard, the guy who maintained LeBron James was going to Chicago, even on the day of “The Decision,” then changed his story at the last minute because he got a tip, so just wait until it actually happens to believe it’s happening. Let’s take this with all the grains of salt until Brandon Roy is announcing in his weirdly high-pitched voice that he is really retiring.

But seriously, between this and Chris Paul being traded and then not traded, it’s been a weird 24 hours in the league. It’s right up there with that time Ron Artest and Stephen Jackson went “Punch Drunk Love” on a few fans’ faces. That was probably still weirder but I think we can all agree that those two guys going nuts is not the most far-fetched thing in NBA history. These two things are just mind-blowing to have happened in such quick succession.

That being said, it’s easy to understand why Brandon Roy would retire. At this point, his knees are made of balsa wood, hardened toothpaste, old rubberbands and those wires you use to hang greenery during the Christmas season. His knees are jealous of Greg Oden’s knees.

Plus, this wouldn’t be the first time the Trail Blazers have convinced a cap killer to retire when he still was able to play in the NBA, word to Darius Miles. If he’s a medical retirement, he still gets all the money from that giant contract he signed in 2010, so it’s not the worst thing in the world for him.

Of course, just like Darius Miles, Roy could retire and then decide that at 27 he’s not ready to be done playing professional basketball for the rest of his life. If he comes back and some other team signs him — and he plays for 10 games — the Trail Blazers are on the hook for his salary, which would be the only thing more hilarious than paying a max salary to 2011 Brandon Roy in the first place.

But yeah — Brandon Roy might be retiring. Everything is going nuts. Any minute now, I assume we’ll be finding out that Dwight Howard has been traded to the moon for a bunch of space rocks or something else that’s totally bananahands.

Please advise….

Comments (15)

  1. Roy would have to play for 10 games for another team, technically. Same as Miles.

  2. “Please advise….”

    Perfect

  3. All we can hope for is the return of the daily show on Monday. Everything is happening, you guys.

  4. Good catch, DLewis. Updated.

  5. A very, very sad day in the 2-0-6.

  6. I’ve been following this site since before TheScore days (and your BallDontLie days too)… and your “Please advise…” line compelled me to finally submit my very first comment…

    BRILLIANT!

  7. Hey not saying youre wrong here, but I am a little confused. You say if hes a medical retirment, the Blazers pay his entire salary; and if he comes back and plays 10 games (for another team), the Blazers must pay his salary too? This does not make sense to me. Kinda like, damned if you do, damned if you dont for the Blazers. Or are you talking about medical retirement vs. regular retirement?

  8. You forgot to sign off, Trey K.

  9. I think he should retire. He has supreme talent but with that problem in the knees it’s best he safes himself and family the pain he could go through. He’s a real class act.

  10. @Waterboy Arroyo Dude what’s up with the name? LOL

  11. @Brian R.

    Teams have insurance to cover paying the salary of a player who takes medical retirement. So if Brandon medically retires he still gets his contract money just not out of the team’s pocket.

  12. This is actually rather appalling:

    “If he’s a medical retirement, he still gets all the money from that giant contract he signed in 2010, so it’s not the worst thing in the world for him.”

    Please learn how to use proper English or perhaps it would be better if you changed professions. If anyone from The Score is actually reading this please find competent writers and editors. Either that or save yourselves some money and outsource their jobs; what’s the point of paying a writer or editor high domestic wages if they are unable to master the domestic language?

  13. Can you imagine what kinda dunks DHoward would pull off if he were traded to the moon?

  14. I really feel bad for Brandon Roy he justs wants to play so bad but if he isn’t able to play he wouldn’t put his team in abind and would rather retire than become a contract issue for not playing for the minutes that he should be playing based on the contract terms and amount. Even in reduced role the pessure and the feeling of living up to amount he’s is payed can be stressful, if you feel like you don’t deserve it, and the frustration of knowing you are that caliber player but you body doesn’t agree man wouldn’t want to feel like that. Props for him wanting to retire a Trailblazer unlike other ungrateful super stars around the leauge.

  15. props for retiring as a blazer? its not like he chose to retire although half the league offered him money..

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