You might not know this about me, but I have an extremely valuable Health Science degree from Benedictine University. You see, once upon a time, I wanted to be a doctor. And though I would be the worst medical school student of all-time, I’m still pretty well-versed in the treatment of various sporting injuries. Ankles, knees, elbows, fingies, toesies — you name it, I can tell you how someone would tell you how to fix it.

And let me tell you, in all my years of knowing things about different medical treatments, I’ve never heard of this CRAZY remedy Kobe Bryant is trying right now. From the Los Angeles Times:

Lakers guard Kobe Bryant is nursing a torn ligament in his right wrist, requires pre-game injections to null the pain and wears an over-sized oven mitt to limit the wrist’s movement [...]

An oven mitt? Seriously? Kobe Bryant has made nearly $200 million playing basketball in his career — plus however much more from endorsements — and he plays for the second-most valuable franchise in the NBA, yet the greatest solution they can come up with is for him to wear an oven mitt around the house.

“I don’t know what to tell you, Kobe. I just think it’ll help a lot if you wear an oven mitt around the house to keep your wrist from moving so much. And hey, you get to choose the color, so go nuts.” Cool doctor-ing. Very professional.

But what do I know? I went to school for years to get what amounts to a very expensive perfect attendance award. Maybe oven mitts are the greatest healing product ever invented and we’re all just idiots for only using them to hold hot things. Kobe did score 48 last night, so there does seem to be some science behind this madness. Next time I roll my ankle, I’m just going to throw an Ove Glove on my foot and assume it’ll be back to normal by morning.

Comments (5)

  1. That’s crazy… Every medical professional knows you just put duct tape on it. Oven mitts are only prescribed for chronic masturbators.

  2. Kobe just got divorced… his wrist must’ve took a beating!

  3. I think Kobe should be more concerned with the white arm growing out of his left armpit than his torn ligament in his right wrist!!

  4. LOL this post made me laugh so much…especially since I can hear you narrating this out loud now that you’re part of the daily show.

  5. Great information and facts! I have been looking for things like this for a time now. With thanks!

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