Last night, with 40 seconds remaining, the Chicago Bulls had some random dude check in to play basketball for them wearing a No. 14 jersey with no name on the back. Who could this fellow be? There is no way anyone could possibly figure out this mystery by turning the volume up on their television, Googling or checking the Bulls’ online roster, so we are left to sleuth out this mystery on our own.
Let’s start with all the Bulls who have worn No. 14 in the past and provide reasons to eliminate them accordingly.
- Tate Armstrong — retired
- Jim Barnes — dead
- Johnny Baum — is 65
- Matt Goukas — white
- Craig Hodges — blacklisted by NBA
- Erwin Mueller — white
- Clifford Ray — now a coach
- Ricky Sobers — is 58
So none of those guys. Maybe it is just a guy who has worn No. 14 in the past two seasons. Let’s eliminate who we can.
- D.J. Augustin — Bobcats
- Brian Cardinal — Mavericks
- Daequan Cook — Thunder
- Derrick Favors — Jazz
- Joey Graham — arms in that picture aren’t muscular enough
- Danny Green — Spurs
- Terrel Harris — sounds made-up
- Mike James — no way he’s back in the NBA, I don’t believe it
- Carl Landry — Hornets
- Shaun Livingston — legs in picture seem to be fully functional
- Troy Murphy — Lakers
- Eduardo Najera — guy in picture isn’t flopping
- Gary Neal — Spurs
- Jameer Nelson — Magic
- Nikola Pekovic — no dragon tattoo
- Jason Smith — Hornets
- Al Thornton — guy in picture isn’t shooting
- Ronny Turiaf — no braids
- Julian Wright — arms in picture aren’t insanely skinny
That’s no help. I don’t think we’ll ever get to the bottom of this. If you have ANY idea who this guy is, please let us know in the comments.
(photo via Sam Anderson)