Brian Scalabrine is the best

As we all know, Brian Scalabrine is the most famous basketball player in the history of the Chicago Bulls. This is an incontrovertible fact that no one can deny. If they try, play them this clip of United Center fans going crazy and nod your head while they realize that you are right. Michael Jordan? More like Michael Bore-dan.

With that in mind, you absofruitly must read this profile of a day spent with Scalabrine as he runs errands all around the Chicagoland area. Just to give you an indication of how excellent it is, the story came about because the reporter, ESPN’s Nick Friedell, agreed to drive Scal around because the White Mamba doesn’t own a car. That’s just the tip of the awesome-berg.

Because I really want you to read the whole thing, I’ll just give you this little taste that shows you the depths of wonderful that this piece mines. Here’s Scalabrine talking about what it’s like to be a fan favorite.

“Normally it’s pretty easy, I just do my own thing,” he said. “But I think being the Mamba helped today. Being in the Genius Bar, the guy [at] first blew me off, said I don’t have an appointment today. A couple eye contacts, pictures, Boom! The computer’s getting fixed. I have to admit, those type of things are nice. But they don’t change my life. I’m still a normal guy that just happens to get special treatment at the Apple store.”

That right there — “I’m still a normal guy that just happens to get special treatment at the Apple store” — is tombstone material. Just a great quote, of which there are so many more. It’s so good.

OK, fine. Here’s this too.

The day gets off to a good start considering we find the closest parking spot to the front door. As the car pulls out of its spot and we slide in, Scalabrine can’t help but smile.

“It’s our lucky day,” he said. “The [expletive] Mamba.”

Basically, Brian Scalabrine is just a chill bro who loves playing basketball, takes his bizarre kind of fame in stride and likes to chow down on pork tacos. He even admits he tries to score when he gets put in at the end of games because that’s what the fans want. He’s livin de life like a regular A. Samuels.

If you can read this whole thing without smiling, thinking Brian Scalabrine is a great dude or laughing at him calling himself “Mamba” several times, then you’re dead. Have fun meeting your new favorite bench player.

Comments (16)

  1. Scal and Matt Bonner need to become teammates, so they can carpool in Bonner’s Pontiac Grand Prix.

  2. Don’t say absofruitly. It is dumb.

  3. I’m late on this, but the Scal video you link to shows a middle aged ginger gentlemen in the crowd for the first three seconds. He’s wearing glasses.

    Yup, that’s Luc Longley.

  4. Take it slow, Trey, because what will Brad Miller say, when he reads this, he thought that for you he’s best.

  5. It should be noted that much of the lore surrounding The Great Bambrine originated back in Boston, where for years his presence was revered not only for his token “it all over” 4th quarter appearances, but also for being the only guy with red hair on a markedly un-”Celtic” looking roster.

    • Here, htake an internet or two from my basket, you’ve earned it.

      Note : “Human Victory Cigar” is a wink to the Red Auerbach days.

  6. Brian Scalabrine is the GOAT. And everyone knows it. I would love to carpool with this guy. LOL

  7. “You don’t want to be the rebound tea lady, do you?”

    What a great quote. The White Mamba has entrenched himself as one of my favorites now.

  8. I’ve always wondered if Scal’s the dad of the “Gingers Do Have Souls” – kid.

  9. Haha the tea segment absolutely slayed me

  10. Brian Scalabrine is the 12th Man of the Year, every year. Which is only half a step behind Finals MVP in my book.

  11. I saw Scalabrine do a 360 dunk. FACT.

  12. When I was in the US in 2010 I went to a Bulls game and a Chicago fan yelled ‘YOU SUCK, MILLER” every time Brad Miller touched the ball.

    Obviously it wasn’t you, Trey.

  13. Scalabrine is actually a pretty decent basketball player if u watch his highlights he should get more playing than he gets. -V

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