Brian Scalabrine is the best

As we all know, Brian Scalabrine is the most famous basketball player in the history of the Chicago Bulls. This is an incontrovertible fact that no one can deny. If they try, play them this clip of United Center fans going crazy and nod your head while they realize that you are right. Michael Jordan? More like Michael Bore-dan.

With that in mind, you absofruitly must read this profile of a day spent with Scalabrine as he runs errands all around the Chicagoland area. Just to give you an indication of how excellent it is, the story came about because the reporter, ESPN’s Nick Friedell, agreed to drive Scal around because the White Mamba doesn’t own a car. That’s just the tip of the awesome-berg.

Because I really want you to read the whole thing, I’ll just give you this little taste that shows you the depths of wonderful that this piece mines. Here’s Scalabrine talking about what it’s like to be a fan favorite.

“Normally it’s pretty easy, I just do my own thing,” he said. “But I think being the Mamba helped today. Being in the Genius Bar, the guy [at] first blew me off, said I don’t have an appointment today. A couple eye contacts, pictures, Boom! The computer’s getting fixed. I have to admit, those type of things are nice. But they don’t change my life. I’m still a normal guy that just happens to get special treatment at the Apple store.”

That right there — “I’m still a normal guy that just happens to get special treatment at the Apple store” — is tombstone material. Just a great quote, of which there are so many more. It’s so good.

OK, fine. Here’s this too.

The day gets off to a good start considering we find the closest parking spot to the front door. As the car pulls out of its spot and we slide in, Scalabrine can’t help but smile.

“It’s our lucky day,” he said. “The [expletive] Mamba.”

Basically, Brian Scalabrine is just a chill bro who loves playing basketball, takes his bizarre kind of fame in stride and likes to chow down on pork tacos. He even admits he tries to score when he gets put in at the end of games because that’s what the fans want. He’s livin de life like a regular A. Samuels.

If you can read this whole thing without smiling, thinking Brian Scalabrine is a great dude or laughing at him calling himself “Mamba” several times, then you’re dead. Have fun meeting your new favorite bench player.