I don’t know about you guys, but if I got my nose broken and called for a foul after Kobe Bryant pump faked me, I probably wouldn’t return to the game. I’d probably just be like, “You know what? I’ve got this broken nose and all you guys have to fix it is a bunch of cotton balls that you want to shove up there — which is broken, like I said — so I’m probably just going to chill until I can get one of those Rip Hamilton mask things.” This is probably part of the reason why I’m not a professional basketball player.
Take Roy Hibbert for example. He got his nose broken, came back to the game against the Lakers, scored eight fourth quarter points and spent the rest of the night making jokes about his horribly disfigured face. From the AP:
“They didn’t want me to come back out, but I told them I’m going to no matter what,” said Hibbert, who was still bleeding after coming out of the showers. “So if I got hit again, that’s fine. I could always get cosmetic surgery at the end of the season to fix it. I’m a tough player, and I just wanted to play through it and make sure we got this win. This game was really important to us. I just wanted to make sure I found open shooters and cutters and score whenever I could.”
Great win. Love the taste of my own blood!!!!
Now that is a professional basketball player who is not named Vince Carter. Between the cosmetic surgery joke and the tasty blood comment, you can see why Roy Hibbert killed on “Parks and Recreation.” He’s a natural funnyman, but you might not know it because he’s such a soft-spoken guy.
Not a soft guy though, that’s for sure. As previously mentioned, Hibbert played 22 minutes with his nose all fat and stuffed full of cotton that kept falling out, during which he scored all 18 of his points and grabbed all but one of his eight rebounds. Decent performance for not being able to breath through your nose.
Plus, he chilled with his Parks and Rec bros afterwards, like a broken nose is no big deal. Weird night.