There are lots of things that make Chris Paul angry. Losing, people telling him he looks like Carlton Banks, Julius Hodge, leaving a pin in the corner when he throws a good hook, missing games — the list goes on and on.

But the thing that upsets him the most, perhaps, is when people touch his head. He’s a regular Adrian Beltre about it, as last night’s exchange with Pau Gasol proves.

After the game, he was still steamed. From the Los Angeles Times:

 ”I got a son of my own,” Paul said. “I don’t know if Pau got kids, but don’t touch the top of my head like I’m one of your kids. I don’t know what his intentions were and it doesn’t matter. I don’t know if he’s got kids but I’m not one of them.”

If you’re an NBA team looking for a way to get in Chris Paul’s head, touching said head seems to be a pretty effective strategy. Sure, there’s a chance he does that thing where he uses his anger as motivation and totally destroys your team, but there’s an even better chance he freaks out and starts touching everybody else’s head, which is probably technical. Something to explore for the future, that’s for sure.

For his part, Pau just thought this was normal friend stuff.

“I’m sorry he felt that way,” Gasol said. “I do that all the time with my teammates. It’s okay. If I touch your shoulder or back, there’s nothing mean about it. It is what it is.”

OK. Sure. Pau Gasol just touches his teammates all the time, which isn’t weird at all if you remember the study that shows that touching your comrades makes for better teams. If you don’t remember the study, then maybe it’s a little strange, but Pau is well-educated so I assume this is all mental for him. Maybe he thinks that if he touches an opponent, he’ll accidentally trick Chris Paul in to helping the Lakers> I don’t know, but I’m sure he has a reason.

At the very least, Pau should be thankful he didn’t touch Charles Oakley’s head. Here’s Oak on Twitter:

Watching first take , they showing pgasol touch chris p head, he should hit him in the head with the ball, that a no, touch man head,I wish

I’m not entirely sure what that means, but between “that a no” and “I wish” it seems like a Tyrone Hill situation. Watch your back, Pau.

Comments (14)

  1. Am I the only person who thinks Paul’s reaction and Oakley’s comment are ridiculous levels of over the top aggression or am I missing something here?

  2. Am I the only one who noticed Kobe’s hilarious facial expression during this?

  3. Pau man, you should touch a black mans hair… Dang bro, we take care of our hair, regardless where we are.. I think Pau needs a line up and to shave that beard. or at least clean it up. Same with Pretty Ricky and Marc..

  4. It’s obvious that Gasol didn’t mean any ill will, but some people don’t like stuff like that, plus there’s cultural norms. For me and a lot of people, you touch the top of someone’s head if they’re a kid and you’re an adult and showing affection. Paul’s also in Hyde mode. With the loss, he wouldn’t be in a good mood to begin with.

    Oakley’s comment is hilarious.

  5. I wanna see another lost trash talk on this!

  6. You euros are so touchy-feely. When the Italian soccer team won the World Cup in 2006, it was a glorious moment. In the team’s on-field celebration, the ecstasy of winning manifested itself in hugs, kisses, and eventually, penetration.

  7. Eventual penetration FTW.

  8. Oakley started his tweet, and Pootie Tang finished it. ZADDA-DEY!!

  9. Another way of getting into Chris Paul head: telling him he’ll never win a championship.

  10. small man syndrome… Oak just being Manny

  11. Watch your back Trey, next thing you know Oak will be kicking out your front door then throwing a ‘bow to you face yelling “Don’t you fucking fuck with me, white boy”.

    Honestly, don’t rule it out, the man is a monster.

  12. Why is there seemingly no mention of Pau bumping Paul from behind after the final whistle? Honestly, doesn’t the NBA usually FINE and/or SUSPEND players for that kind of BUSH LEAGUE crap?

    Honestly, I think Pau is gay and was trying to impress the newly single Black Mamba.

    And, for all the Fakers talk of, “This isn’t a rivalry.”, they sure did look like they took it as such…

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