Rookie hazing is a tradition as old as time. Or at least as old as the second season of the first professional sport, when the guys who were there the year before decided to mess with the new guys. We’ve all seen rookies in terrible costumes, carrying little girl backpacks or singing horrible karaoke in front of a bunch of fans. These are the hits of the rookie hazing world, the “Bye Bye Bye,” if you will.

But what about the “Just Got Paid” and “Digital Get Down,” the lesser known deep cuts of rookie hazing? Why don’t we ever hear those stories? Not everything can be as big as “It’s Gonna Be Me.”

Thankfully, we have Nick Collison to relay this little ditty about Kevin Willis in his guest blog for GQ.

On road trips, Kevin Willis would call Royal’s room at 2 A.M. and say “Rook, I need you to go get me a carton of cigarettes.” Now, Kevin Willis didn’t smoke, but Royal [Ivey] still would have to get out of bed and find a convenience store to get him his cigarettes, then knock on his door and deliver them. All that Royal would get for his troubles was a “Thanks Rook,” as he watched the grinning veteran throw the cigarettes in the trash.

This is perfect. It’s a little tiny mind game to fool with Royal Ivey, but I’m sure it’s the most frustrating thing ever.

The first time was probably funny for Ivey, like a real “You got me” situation. Laugh it off, go to bed — no big deal. Then when Kevin Willis kept doing it over and over and Royal Ivey kept having to find places that were open that sold cigarettes that he knew would never be smoked, he had to be so frustrated. Even if it’s just $6, he had to be so mad to see Willis literally throwing away his money night in and night out. Plus, it’s happening in the early morning when he just wants to go to sleep.

I have to say, I’m very impressed with Kevin Willis’ pranking skills. He was so old school that I would have assumed his idea of a prank is calling and asking if Royal Ivey’s refrigerator was running.

(via Daily Thunder)