Yesterday we learned that Kevin Durant didn’t think Blake Griffin’s monster dunk was all that. He grew up in the 90s so he still uses that lingo, plus he loves Amanda Bynes, but really we all do so let’s not jump down his throat.

Anyway, since Kevin Durant doesn’t care about monster dunks against his team, I had to find out what else doesn’t impress him. After a 6-hour conversation, I found out that Kevin Durant’s a real Shania Twain about things that are typically awe-inspiring.

Great Wall of China
“It’s just a wall, I think. Some guys built it and it’s pretty long. So it’s a really long wall at the end of the way. Maybe if it were in my yard I’d say it’s ‘great.’”

Grand Canyon
“As far as I’m concerned, it’s just a big hole in the ground. I have no appreciation for it at all. We’ve got a ditch in Oklahoma City that doesn’t get attention because it’s not an Arizona dent. It’s fine but I don’t think it’s ‘grand.’”

Space Travel
“Guys flying around in space? We’ve got guys on this team that can fly around too — Russell Westbrook, Serge Ibaka — they can float but whatever. If Lance Bass can do it, then who cares.”

Great Pyramid of Giza
“That’s just a triangle that no one lives in and is falling apart. Come on, man. Chesapeake Energy Arena holds 18,000 people and they’re always going crazy. To be honest, I prefer that.”

Scarlett Johnansson
“OK, yeah. She’s nice.”

Ringling Bros. and Barnum & Bailey Circus
“People say it’s the ‘Greatest Show on Earth,’ but it’s animals running around in circles, I think. Maybe if they let Scott Brooks be the ringmaster I might say it was a good show.”

Double Rainbows
“Triple rainbows are worth more.”

David Blaine
“OK, so he can pull strings out of his stomach. That’s his thing, right? And he can hold his breath a long time? We’ve got magicians here in Oklahoma City that can do better tricks but because they’re not Chicago magicians or Miami magicians no one talks about their tricks. That’s fine.”

The New Blue Marble Photograph
“It’s Earth. I’ve seen it.”

Comments (23)

  1. Kevin Durant’s theme song is Shania Twain’s “That Don’t Impress Me Much”

  2. “Kevin Durant didn’t think Blake Griffin’s monster dunk wasn’t all that”

    Double negatives FTW!

  3. Trey, you were just looking for some reason, any reason in fact, to put a giant Scarlett Johansson picture in your blog.

  4. Very well executed.

  5. Kerbz works his magicses. And BaraChat, it was KD who looked for a way to get a giant SJ photo into this blog so he could come have a look at it…

  6. This was well done and I laughed, but it’s really just a bunch of pictures with captions. Got those all over the internets. Maybe if this was in 3D or something I’d be impressed, but really, it’s just another post.

  7. LMAO Trey this is great man.

  8. Fantastic as always Trey!

  9. haha lol lmao lmfao rofl lawl

  10. Kevin Durant is the NBA’s answer to Karl Pilkington.

    Pretty sure Ricky Gervais just got his idea for An Idiot Abroad 3

  11. Am I the only one who does not find S-Jo attractive? Sure, as long as we talk about body, but her face… ugh…

    • Seriously, dude?
      I mean, she’s not my type to begin with, but I think she’s really hot…
      I really tought Scarlett Johansonn was the perfect 10 for that reson alone : no man could resist her…

    • I kind of feel you on the ScarJo, but honestly most “attractive” women are only attractive because of their body – and hers is nice. For instance, Angelina Jolie always had a questionable face to me, but everyone thought she was hot. I’d play with her boobies if given the chance, and I wouldn’t call her ugly either, but there are better looking faces out there.

    • I don’t find her hot either, probably because her terrible acting keeps getting in the way of me liking her. I can see how other men find her attractive though.

    • I agree with Andy, ugly, put a pic of her next to Kate Upton and everyone will say who’s the gargoyle next to Kate Upton.

  12. have to agree with KD…been there…done that …if you have too act like it

  13. This was hysterical!

  14. The Basketball Jones
    “Oh I’ve seen that movie.”

  15. lots of homos posting here nagging about SJ’s face and stuff.

  16. the new blue marble picture sucks

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