Do things suck for you? Do you wake up every morning with the same personal problems you have today? Are you tired of going to the grocery store and not finding the right milk and being so picky about it that you won’t buy one of the 30 other kinds of milk that they have for sale?
If so, then try the Blame LeBron James Method, only from LeBron James. It’s a revolutionary system where you take your predicament, shift the blame to the system’s creator and then move on with your life.
Here’s the founder, client and president — Mr. LeBron James. From ESPN:
“I’m an easy target; if someone wants to get a point across — just throw LeBron’s name in there,” James said. “You could be watching cartoons with your kids and you don’t like it, you say, ‘Blame it on LeBron.’ If you go to the grocery store and they don’t have the milk that you like, you just say, ‘It’s LeBron’s fault.’ “
It’s that easy. Anything that goes wrong, just blame it on LeBron James.
Lose your keys? It’s LeBron’s fault.
Sprain your ankle? Blame it on LeBron.
Try to let out a burp but kind of throw up in your mouth a little bit and get that burning sensation in the back of your throat? That’s LeBron’s fault, too.
Just think of the possibilities. No longer will you be on the hook for all the mistakes you make, because now they’re all LeBron James’ fault. Just pile up all the little things that go wrong in your silly, small life on LeBron’s strong shoulders and he’ll carry the blame. Don’t worry, he’s strong.
It works anywhere.
Accidentally tell your girlfriend she looks fat when she asks? LeBron.
Pee the bed? LeBron.
Bankrupt some of the biggest financial institutions on Earth and send the United States in to a terrible depression? LeBron.
It’s the Blame LeBron James Method, only from LeBron James. Don’t say he never did anything for you.