When you think of Ben Wallace, you probably think of great defense, incredible shoulder definition and embarrassingly terrible free throw shooting. Those are pretty much the go-to descriptors for Ben Wallace, now that he doesn’t have that giant Afro.

One thing you definitely don’t think of is his three-point shooting, which makes sense considering he’s made seven threes in a 16-year NBA career. If Ben Wallace makes a three, you pinch yourself to make sure you’re still alive and not in some dream world where Brad Miller can jump off the floor and Carlos Boozer has all his hair.

But last night, in real life, Ben Wallace made a three-pointer in an actual NBA basketball game. Afterwards, he was bigging himself up for his long range exploits. From the AP:

“Three-ball — that ain’t nothing that you all haven’t seen before,” Wallace said.

This is technically true. If you have watched every single game Ben Wallace has ever played, then you have seen him hit a three six times before last night. You would have to have payed VERY close attention, but I guess that could be something you’ve seen before. Who can forget that time on April 6, 2005 when he made a three against the Wizards? Classic Ben Wallace moment.

But that’s not the only thing we haven’t seen before with regards to things Ben Wallace did last night. He also airballed two free throws, which is way more common, I’d have to imagine. His response:

“They hacked me. I made a couple free throws, shot a couple airballs — still ain’t nothing that you all have never seen before.”

This could be a great character: Terrible Shooter Who is Very Cocky. It’d be just a very aggressive guy who says things like, “Yeah, I airballed some shots. No big deal. I’ll do that every night if I want to.” Could be an interesting avenue to see Ben Wallace explore, though it’s a shame he had to happen upon such a wonderful act this late in his career. It might be too late to properly develop a backstory, but I at least like the idea.

And you have to like that Ben Wallace knows he’s going to airball some freebies. At this point, when he’s about ready to retire, there’s really no reason why he’d expect to be anything other than bad from the line. Upon his retirement, he will leave the game as literally the worst free throw shooter ever, which more than entitles him to brag about how bad he is at shooting. He’s the best at being bad, so he might as well own it.

Besides, are you going to say anything mean to Ben Wallace about his free throws? Me neither.

Comments (7)

  1. I wonder who has more free throw airballs, him or Jamaal Magloire?

  2. Wow. Nice little 21-18 line that Big Ben had against the Wiz in 2005. I’m not sure how a team lets him shoots 8 for 13 from the field…. Or I wasn’t, until I saw that he was matched up against Kwame. What an offensive battle that must’ve been.

  3. +1 on the headline Trey, pretty clever …

  4. Trey man, don’t write off Wallace yet. If he makes his next 211 free throws Ben Wallace will pass Dudley for 2nd worst ever.

  5. hilarious piece

  6. On the other hand he is the 3rb best 3pt shooter from the top 20 of worst FT shooters. So there is that.

    P.S. Son of a garbage can Bowen is 21st worst

  7. If you P-A-I-D attention in school, Trey Kirby, you would know how to spell it.

    Good attempt though. It wasn’t an airball.

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