As we all know, Jeremy Lin is the biggest story in the history of basketball, a player so dynamic and talented that he can make Barack Obama and Sarah Palin agree on something. When you have a guy like that, you have to make sure to get him involved with the NBA’s biggest showcase. And that’s exactly what the league has done, adding Lin to the Rising Stars Challenge at the last minute and even announcing that he will be joining such legends as Sonny Weems and Rashad McCants as an assistant at the dunk contest.
But this is Jeremy Lin we’re talking about. Two events is not nearly enough. We need to get this guy in front of as many people as possible, in as many ways as possible. This is just a brainstorming session, but here are a few ideas for getting Jeremy Lin more involved in All-Star Weekend.
- Skills competition — This seems like a natural fit. If Jeremy Lin isn’t in the skills competition, I will eat 50 strips of bacon.
- Shooting Stars competition — This also seems like something that could easily happen, but it’d be cool if the NBA could make him only shoot pullup threes.
- Sing pregame national anthem — Doesn’t matter if it’s the American, Canadian or some other country, as long as he’s the one singing it, people will watch. If he wants to make up a country, write its national anthem and then sing that, he should go for it. He can do anything right now.
- Halftime performance — He’s not much of a dancer, plus he’ll already be singing earlier in the night, so why not throw an eating contest? Lin says he’s the biggest eater on the Knicks, so let’s have him face off against Eddy Curry (the formerly-biggest eater on the Knicks), Boris Diaw, DeSagana Diop and Raymond Felton to decide who is the best eater in the league. I suggest gigantic burritos as the food of choice, but I’m open to suggestions.
- Wrestle booth — Outside of the arena, you can pay $15 to wrestle Jeremy Lin for five minutes. If you pin him, you get a 10-day contract with the Knicks. That’s how Steve Novak got his job.
- Hold a lion cub — Just feels like it would be cool to see Jeremy Lin holding a lion cub and acting like he’s not scared for a couple of hours. Could substitute a rhinoceros baby, but I think the Lin-lion pun potential makes that animal the right choice.
- Reading time — Jeremy Lin reads you text books from his time at Harvard in a Boston accent. Matt Damon and Ben Affleck are there too, just throwing apples in to the crowd while yelling “How you like them apples?” It’s a performance art thing. You probably wouldn’t get it.
- Gigantic balloon — Just get a huge, super realistic balloon of Jeremy Lin, set it down at halfcourt and watch the fun unfold. It’ll be something like this but out of breath and great at basketball.
- Mandatory tattoos — Every fan in attendance for any All-Star event has to get a Jeremy Lin tattoo on their face, back or chest. Fans who get all three will be given a 10-day contract with the Knicks. This is how Mike D’Antoni kept his job and why he never shaves his mustache.
- Disney World exhibit — Special section of Disney World where you can go on Jeremy Lin-themed rides — the Blue Tongue Slide, Magic Couch Ride, a log flume popping out of Lin’s constantly open mouth — and meet Disney-ized New York Knicks characters. Kids will love the stuffed Baron Davis because it’s is accurately pudgy.
These are just rough ideas. I’m sure you guys can come up with better ways to include Jeremy Lin in the festivities.