You’ve probably seen the GIF — Derrick Rose stonefaced while LeBron James gets his dance on during All-Star Game introductions. It said everything you ever wanted to know about Rose and LeBron in the course of a few frames. And in an All-Star Weekend that didn’t have a ton of memorable moments, this little snippet will go down as one of the top five best things about All-Star 2012.

Afterwards, Rose had this to say about the impromptu dance party that he unwillingly attended. From ESPN:

“I can dance,” Rose said after Sunday night’s All-Star Game. “But there’s a time and place for that and I don’t think it was right, then and there.” [...]

“I don’t care,” Rose said. “You just know that’s me, man. If you would have saw me out there dancing, you would have been looking at me different. I’m just me. I can’t be anybody else. I think that’s what people see.”

Fair enough. Even though Skeets is right and dancing during All-Star Game intros is the perfect time to cut loose, if Derrick Rose is so concerned about being tough that he doesn’t want to get caught dancing, then that is his choice. We can’t all be Tas Melas and Glen Davis.

Nonetheless, as Derrick said, there is a time and place to dance. Luckily, through careful internet sleuthing and other diabolical means, TBJ has been able to uncover Derrick Rose’s 10 times and places when it is OK to dance. The list is as follows:

  • In high school, during a dance-off.

  • Your own wedding (first dance only).
  • Your best friend’s wedding (“Party Rock Anthem” only).
  • While watching “My Best Friend’s Wedding” (“I Say a Little Prayer” scene only).
  • At an NBA championship rally, but only if there’s a hilarious white guy on stage already dancing and distracting everyone.
  • Any and all quinceañeras.
  • If that one Gorillaz song is playing.
  • While limbo-ing.
  • If you get a custom Skittles machine, but only after the delivery man has left.
  • Accidentally in your sleep.

We scoured the internet and these are the only 10 scenarios where Derrick Rose says it’s OK to dance, so it’s no surprise that he wasn’t a big fan of LeBron and Dwight Howard busting moves before the All-Star Game. The court is a sacred, no-dancing place for him, which is why he considers the first act of “Footloose” to be the pinnacle of cinema.

Follow these simple dancing rules and Derrick Rose has your back. Break any of them, even to the slightest degree, and you’re Kevin Bacon. And not in a good way.

Comments (28)

  1. Wow, what a gem. That shows us where he got his good footwork from.

  2. That Derrick Rose Guy gets a tad more favorite every day.

  3. “Derrick Rose is so concerned about being tough that he doesn’t want to get caught dancing”

    I dunno, it certainly doesn’t seem like a “tough guy” thing to me. I think it’s just more that in his mind he was at work, and he’s a serious worker. It’s not like all All-Stars dance around like idiots, or even that it’s something that a few players do every year. It is a very interesting study of contrasts though.

    • It isn’t about being tough, drose never acts like a tough guy. He’s just an introvert who can ball. He’s not an entertainer/baller, hes a baller and if you don’t like to watch the way he plays bball well, you don’t like basketball…you are right he is just more of a serious person. He was who he is and didn’t try to be something he isn’t, At least he didn’t start splashing around in the water like chirs bosh & be something he isn’t…. Kudos to drose for staying true to yourself, that s refreshing in a world with so much fakeness….

      • Very well said, it’s not about ‘trying to seem tough’ at all. Respect to D-Rose

        • Aaaaabsolutely, he wasn’t being tough, he was being humble. Wish we saw this from other guys in the league more often.

      • I agree with this assessment 100%. I want to make it clear I’m not a Rose fanboy from Chicago. I’m from Boston, root for the Celtics, and I was one of those guys arguing with Rose fans last year about how LeBron or Dwight deserved MVP over Rose. However, that said, he’s sooooo much more likeable than either of those guys. I can understand why people love rooting for him. I can identify with how uncomfortable he looks not wanting to dance at the allstar intros. That’s how I’d feel too in that situation. Plus, that MVP acceptance speech, where he gave that heartfelt thanks to his mom … that was so genuine and respectable.

  4. Now chris bosh, there is a fake tough guy. Just ask Kevin Durant:

  5. I think somehow he’s still a shy guy and that he’s really not at ease with the idea of dancing in front of so many peoples…

  6. In the immortal words of Men Without Hats… “He Can Dance if he wants to…” hehe

  7. and isn’t DRose the guy who cried talking about his momma at the MVP ceremoney? Come on give me a break…how is that trying to be a tough guy? Don’t think hes concerned about being a tough guy and keeping a tough guy image.

  8. That’s not really D-Rose dancing in high school, right? I thought it was just a lookalike.

  9. I watched the video a couple of times now… i cant see any evidence of lebron DANCING… to me it looks more like some squirrel being excited…
    i think thats what drose thought as well

  10. Thats not Derrick Rose.

  11. cool video, though judging by the movements of the guys in the background, the clip is *not* played at normal speed.

  12. Great video, I love Derrick Rose’s quote when asked about the dancing at the ASG, “I can dance, but there’s a time and place for that and I don’t think it was right, then and there.” At least this shows he isn’t lying.

  13. that ASG intro dancing IS LAME. Come on. No Bird, Jordan or Kareem ever danced like those childish idiots. Didn’t like it, when Shaq did it, didn’t like it, when the east did it earlier, didin’t like it now. Rose was right.

  14. It’s an All star game, if players want to celebrate and have fun then we should let them do it. If they want to be more solemn and reserved then we should let them do that too. At the end of the day it doesn’t matter because the ASG is purely about entertainment and showcasing the NBAs best players, for better or for worse.

  15. A very important reminder from Charles Barkley:
    key line: “No dancin. No Huggin.”

  16. \facepalm … that is not Rose in that video.

  17. Who cares whether or not this is Rose “dancing”. It looks like him with incredible footwork. lol
    For the frosty look at Bron alone I like him even more now.

  18. DRose is so “Old School” man. I admire that, and I totally agree with him and I hope he never changes…

  19. Unlike Lebron, Rose is in the NBA because he loves basketball. James is there because he loves being famous.

  20. that’s not derrick rose…

    his name is kemo

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