Naming kids is pretty tough. I don’t have any kiddies, so I’m just guessing on this, but you’re making a decision that lasts a lifetime in the course of a couple of days, so it has to be hard. You have to take in to account what the name rhymes with, any sort of puns other kids will use on the playground and whether or not the person will be a suspect in a very famous murder case (O.J. Mayo’s mom is still upset, I’m sure) among other things.

Then you have to hope the kid lives up to his name, like that Le’Bryan Nash kid who plays for Oklahoma State and had to be a basketball player or else. Needless to say, these two newborn San Antonio twins are going to have a lot to live up to. From KENS5.com:

Jon Paul and Crystal Dennison are big fans, having met in 2007 while waiting tables at the AT&T Center during Spurs games.

“We know that the Lord brought us together, but he used the Spurs to do it,” Jon Paul said.

When the San Antonio couple found out they were having twin boys, they chose names befitting a power forward and a point guard.

Duncan and Parker, identical twins, were born Friday at North Central Baptist Hospital. They weighed in at close to five pounds each and, appropriately, Duncan is a little taller.

“It kind of started off as a joke,” the proud father explained. “We said it at lunch one day and everybody laughed. And then we got to thinking that we really actually liked the names a whole lot. They’re really cool names.”

That’s right — twin boys from San Antonio named Duncan and Parker. You know, like Tim Parker and Tony Duncan or whatever their names are from that one team. At least we know they will be winners dedicated to the team concept of eating and sleeping at the same time, which will be huge for the parents. Just keep Parker away from the girls until he’s out of preschool.

This does raise some questions. When people ask the twins’ dad about how things are going, will he be curt and dismissive of the reporter concerned party? Will the parents carefully control Duncan’s sleep schedule while letting Parker tire himself out night after night? Are they going to allow a gigantic coyote to live in their house? These are all valid concerns when you name your kids after Spurs players.

As for Baby Manu, we’ll just have to assume he’s already been born and the parents are stashing him overseas until he is ready to contribute around the house. Either that or they’re going to bring him off the bench when people get tired of playing with the twins.

(via The Post Game)

Comments (13)

  1. At school Tim is gonna be a nerdy student and Tony will probably cheat on his tests (zing)

  2. Trey, you forgot about their red-headed stepchild who is extremely picky about his sandwiches.

    But really, they are great names.

  3. Manu > Parker. Both the player and the name.

  4. the kids at school cant wait to play with the “TT’s”

  5. We all realized the kids’ names are Duncan and Parker, yes? Like Parker Stevenson and Duncan McKenzie are the real role models for the naming …

  6. from 2005:

    With the Spurs in the NBA Finals, many San Antonians consider themselves to be born Spurs fans. But Renee San Miguel and Jorge Ramirez’ new son really is.

    The couple named their nine pound seven ounce baby boy, born Sunday, Ginobili, after Spurs superstar guard Manu Ginobili.

    “We’re big Spurs fans,” Renee told 1200 WOAI’s Bud Little from her room at San Antonio Metropolitan Methodist Hospital on Monday, with obvious understatement.

    She says they decided on Ginobili Jose Ray San Miguel Ramirez because “all of our other children’s names state with ‘G,’ and we wanted to name him something with a ‘G’.” That ruled out Tim Duncan or Tony Parker.

    “We hope he lives up to his name and becomes a famous basketball player too,” Renee said.

    Ginobili Ramirez will be watching from his crib Thursday night when the Spurs, and Manu Ginobili, take on the Detroit Pistons in Game One of the NBA Finals.

  7. If they were really committed Spurs fans they’d name one of their kids “Greg” and the other “Pop”.

  8. I tought they had named theiur kids Tim Duncan [insert name] and Tony Parker [insert name].
    This is one of those rare Kerbs articles that have actually made me laugh… maybe I’m that tired… Yes, I should get some sleep…

  9. I hope the parents are prepared for all the “I Didn’t Do Anything” faces that these kids will use anytime they get in trouble.

  10. Naming your child after a sports star is one good way to ensure that they will hate you forever.

  11. thats awesome my sons are Kobe and Bryant, I live in austin maybe in time we can catch a game together, maybe at the expense of the league or respested organizations.

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