Ballin: Man, shout out to Marcin Gortat. There are probably better lines from last night — Kevin Love, Kim Jong-Ilyasova, Al Jefferson and cetera — but Mar-nose is doing his thing out there in Phoenix and no one even cares so we need to say wassup. 28 points, 11 rebounds, three blocks and two steals in the loss, which isn’t the best part but this is still really good. Word to Marcin Gortat.

Not so much: The Lakers just lost back-to-back games to the Pistons and Wizards, joining the Bobcats as the only other team in the league in that horrible, horrible club. Whoops.

Spin cycle: LeBron James 360 dunk mode engaged.

“This is better than this year’s dunk contest.” — someone on the internet, I’m sure

Conspiracy Theory starring Mel Gibson and Julia Roberts: The Raptors are now 24-14 against the spread. DO YOU THINK THEY’RE IN ON IT?

Head-scratcher: The Thunder beat the Suns 115-104, but had only five players score. One of those dudes was Kendrick Perkins, who had all of six points, which means four Thunderers (Westbrook, Durant, Ibaka, Harden) combined to score 109 pointsies, which still would have beat the Suns. Huh?

Speaking of: Here’s James Harden throwing down on Silly Sebastian Telfair Shannon Brown.

Who on the Thunder is Kate Upton dating? I mean, why else would she be at an OKC game? Really hope it’s Nick Collison.

None more Booz: Can’t seem to find it online, but Carlos Boozer stripping Drew Gooden, yelling about it, then having the ball bounce out to Gooden, who nails a wide-open three was a pretty Carlos Boozer play. Also a pretty JaVale McGee play, now that I think about it.

Invisible piano: Tony Allen is just tickling the ivories.

Please leave your best Tony Allen blues name in the comments. I submit Ol’ Grindy for your consideration.

Dr. Emmet Cole: Gerald Wallace on the Trail Blazers’ struggles: “We’re searching. I just don’t know what we’re searching for.” Sounds just like “The River.” (P.S. Don’t watch “The River.”)

New worst GM: And here’s Amar’e Stoudemire on the difference between the Knicks and the Spurs: “(The Spurs) don’t have nearly enough talent to compete with us. Our personnel, our talent is off the charts.” Hey, let’s not let Amar’e Stoudemire make any personnel decisions ever.

Other things: Don’t worry, we’ll talk about all the game-winners in a minute … Jerry Stackhouse dunking in 2012, for at least the second time … There’s a new Stephen Jackson rap video out, obviously … Leon Powe just signed with a team in Puerto Rico, which is weird. Always liked that guy … Everything seems to be fine with Stan Van Gundy’s heart. Yay.