Ballin: Ersan Ilyasova wants all the contracts. He dropped 31 and 12 last night, went 3-for-3 from three and added two steals. You’re probably thinking, “Yeah, but it was against the Raptors,” which is a fair enough point. However, in March he’s averaging 20 and 10 while shooting 60 percent from the field and from three. M-I-P! M-I-P!
Not so much: Jrue Holiday is totally Jruining things for my fantasy team, Tex Winter is coming. He went 2-14 yesterday, scoring just eight points while missing three of his seven free throws. He only had three assists to two turnovers and fouled out, all while playing 38 minutes. Get it together, man. I need you.
Dexterity and length: Andrew Bynum is both tall and good at catching.
Kind of hilarious Kobe Bryant gets an assist for this. Seems to me it’s more like Andrew Bynum was “assisting” Kobe by making him look good even though he threw a pretty dumb pass in the last two minutes of a tight game.
Stanky legg: According to ESPN’s Arash Markazi, “Clippers locker room smells so bad all the players have vacated it. Trainer is blaming the pasta.” Your dad says, “Even though the Clippers are good, they still stink.” I say, “That’s why you don’t order the fettustinki” because puns are the best/worst.
Sadsies: This is not how you want to catch a basketball with the game on the line (2:14 mark).
Oh no, Andre Miller’s hands turned in to Kwame Brown’s hands for a second there, and as it turns out, even a tiny bit of Kwame Brown is enough to lose you a game.
Jeremy Lin is marijuana now: Of course this happened and of course Rick Ross was the one who found it.
More of course: The Los Angeles Clippers were whistled for a technical last night because they had six players on the floor. Just another reminder that Vinny Del Negro is “coaching” a “championship contender.”
Height and jumping ability: Kenneth Faried one-hand tomahawk coming right up.
Other things: JaVale McGee is still doing it … Monta Ellis doesn’t appreciate Blake Griffin’s shot attempts … Inflatable mascot birthday party! … Rafael Nadal has Ricky Rubio’s back … There’s a new masked superstar in Los Angeles and that town isn’t big enough for the both of them (yes, it actually is) … This is not relevant NBA content, but we should all learn this important basketball dance