Doc Rivers hates fun

The Los Angeles Clippers only had five dunks last night. That might seem like a lot, but that’s probably because you don’t realize that Blake Griffin and DeAndre Jordan literally combine to average five dunks a game. So if two guys average five dunks, but a whole team of 13 active players only combined to throw down five, you know something is up.

And I’m going to tell you what it is right now — the Boston Celtics hate having fun. Literally. That is what Doc Rivers said about the game. From the AP:

“We were angry last night because we didn’t get any stops down the stretch (against the Lakers),” Boston coach Doc Rivers said. “This is Lob City, and they enjoy the game. You can see when they play, they have a lot of fun, and we just had to make this game no fun. We talked about it before the game, how this can not be a joyous occasion, and has to be no fun. Our guys went out there and turned the game from a joyous occasion to a competition.”

I knew it. I just knew the Celtics liked ruining everything for everyone. It’s so obvious. You think you’re going to enjoy a basketball game, that things are going to be fun because the Celtics often play competitive games and then you turn it on and Boston is mucking everything up with their “staunch defense” and “sound rotations” and all that other mumbo jumbo that makes the Celtics so good.

Of course, despite their Lob City nickname, it’s not that hard to make the Clippers “no fun.” Sure, they dunk a lot but they also play at the fifth-slowest pace in the league. That’s how Chris Paul plays and he’s obviously remade the team in his image, which becomes obvious when you consider that he’s the biggest change from a team that played the 12th-fastest pace last season. He likes to keep things slow, then probe and prod until he finds the perfect shot. It’s effective but it can make for a tough watch when you’re expecting a team flying up and down the court. Not to mention, all the complaining. Chill out, guys.

All that considered, it’s still the Celtics’ fault. They have a coach who tells his team they need to make things less fun, then they go out and do it and it works. It’s basically the opposite of Mike D’Antoni’s complete belief system. Making things miserable has worked for the Celtics for the past few years, so there’s absolutely no reason they’d stop now.

Plus, there’s nothing Kevin Garnett enjoys more than making things terrible. A team’s offensive system, lockout negotiations, Channing Frye’s nuts — whatever it is, Kevin Garnett will gladly ruin it.