Hypothetical situation — if Delonte West and Lamar Odom went to a zoo and then talked to a reporter about it, do you think that would lead to some hilarious quotes about animals? Delonte West is always reliable for some jokes and Lamar Odom had that one shirt where a wolf turned in to a lady or something like that, so you’re probably thinking “Yes.” I’m with you on this, by the way. I think they’d be awesome at a zoo together.

Well, guess what? It’s not a hypothetical situation. Delonte West and Lamar Odom did go to a zoo together and it was just as amazing as you imagined back when you thought I was just riffing about the idea of these two bros chilling at a zoo. From ESPN:

“Well, I think they noticed as soon as I came into the zoo my natural animal instinct, you know what I mean?” Delonte said, speaking of the actual animals. “I got a chance to eat with the lions, you know? They had Lamar playing with the penguins, but they needed me for the more animalistic-type of things, carnivore-type of things. So, I also had a chance to give birth to a baby cheetah today and I’m just overwhelmed with the experience to be amongst my own and my peers.”


West, who grew up in Washington D.C., was asked if he spent much time at the zoo as a youngster.

“I just ran out in the woods, whatever I could find take it home as a pet,” West said, again stretching the boundaries of fact into pure fiction. “I had a pet raccoon once. No, I took my few field trips to the zoo, but like I said, I think we’re getting ready to go see some of the lions and gorillas, my own kind and hopefully we can have a nice bonding experience and they will accept me as the pack leader.”

It is extremely hard to pick, but I think my favorite quote from this entire thing is the “accept me as the pack leader” part, since it is so scientific and Cesar Millan of him. He has obviously watched his fare share of nature shows to know that it is important for a group of animals to accept a new pack leader, lest things go haywire and/or murderous. It’s nice to add a little bit more backstory to the Delonte West character.

However, if you were to nominate Delonte bragging that he got to do “animalistic-type of things, carnivore-type of things” because he is less human than Lamar Odom, then I totally get it. That’s a very solid choice. As is Delonte saying he “gave birth to a cheetah,” which is either a total lie or a pitch-perfect homonym error. Either way, so good.

I don’t know if it’s economically feasible or if it fits in to the Mavericks’ schedule, but if there is some way for Delonte West and Lamar Odom to go to the zoo every day and then reflect on their experiences, I think that would be really good for all of us. Mark Cuban is super rich, so I feel like he could make it happen. Let’s start an online petition to get the ball rolling. Those things always work.