We all know that Gregg Popovich hates doing press. Or maybe he loves it because that’s when he does his best bits. Hard to tell. The point is, when it comes to press, Gregg Popovich is always ready with a sarcastic remark rather than an actual answer to what he thinks about the game.

Last night was no different, as Popovich took a simple question about the “keys to the game” and turned it in to a treatise on how stupid such a question is. From the Salt Lake Tribune:

Did you ask me that last night? Say whatever you want. It’s transition D. It’s making shots. Don’t turn it over. It’s all bull—-. Have more points than they do, that’s the key. Just make it up and say I said it. I don’t care.

Someday, we will tire of Gregg Popovich gently humiliating reporters but today is not that day. This is another Popovich classic and I think we can all agree that the main key to basketball is scoring more points than the other team. If you do that, you’re guaranteed a win. That’s why Popovich is one of the best coaches in the league.

However, the end part of the quote — the “Make it up and say I said it” part — means you get to create your own Gregg Popovich quote and have it be legit. Something like, “The key to the game was making sure Boris Diaw lugged his manboobs up and down the court for 48 minutes,” followed by an eyeroll would be something he’d say.

So go ahead and throw your favorite made-up Popovich quote in the comments. If we get enough, we’ll be able to lead our teams to an 11-game winning streak and then sit our three best players. Dream big.

Comments (22)

  1. The key to the game was putting a piece of tape on Tim’s mouth so we wouldn’t get technicals.

  2. I’m not a big Spurs fan (although I do respect their achievements in the past 15 years), but I absolutely like Popovich and his no-bullshit approach to the game. It just works. And he doesn’t give a flying poop about reporters/experts/analysts and I absolutely love it.

  3. Key to the game? Translators. We got Manu speaking Spanish over here, Splitter’s in Portuguese, Parker and Boris parlez en Francais, Matt Bonner thinks he’s Canadian… it’s a wonder we can run a pick and roll. Good translators get all these guys on the same page.

  4. “Dream big” that’s it!

  5. The key to the game is to hop on one foot, chew gum, and rub your head at the same time while hedging on the pick and roll.

  6. You guys are just bitter he zinged yall during the All-Star Break! Zinged you good Skeets!

  7. The three keys to the game:
    1) Make sure not to dress up like a Mailman so Jeremy Evans doesn’t dunk on you
    2) See if Danny Green can lose a front tooth so he can rap like Danny Brown in a new rap supergroup “Danny Boys”
    3) Patty Mills needs to win a couple of tip-offs because LOLOLOLOL

  8. The key to any game is the Manu Flop(tm).

  9. The keys to the game? Contact inside: man on man. The guys have to be really firm and stand tall and defend the hole. Man-to-man coverage, staying tight, getting it right in their face. Don’t just let the other guy cut backdoor without putting up some resistance. Put a body on him, hard. Very hard. We need to make them feel it: they aren’t just going to have their way with us. Dominate. We can use our size inside, really make them adjust to us. Penetrate. Use the big to rub off your man, get right to the hole, and finish.

    • Sounds like Pops needs a cigarette after that analysis.

    • I think you forgot: Going hard after the tip and keeping the pressure on. Sucking the defense in, moving the ball around the perimeter, and letting the shots rain down.

  10. Make sure to hit Jeremy Evans in the mouth a few times, and break his braces a bit

  11. “The key to the game is for us to score more than the other team. You media guys are so damn dumb. Asking stupid ass questions like what I would name a freakin’ cologne. WHO THE HELL CARES? Man, who was that guy, I swear I’m going to punch him if I see him again..”

  12. “Getting our JV guys out there, after I treated them all twosome Arby’s, was definitely the key to the game. That’s good mood fpod.”

  13. Keys to the game include finally getting adidas to put out those SWEET Timmeh Halloween shoes he had a few years ago and not letting the rest of the country see those dumbass H-E-B ads the Big Three do. League Pass sees all.

  14. Sandwiches. The key is always sandwiches when we’re talking Spurs.

  15. Do it for gipper!

  16. key to the game? Have Timmy eat my Technicals, sideline him, not me!

  17. Key to the game? It’s all in the hips. The hips don’t lie.

  18. The key to the game is Belgian waffles…No, I don’t know how I can be any clearer than that.

  19. I for one cant stand gregg.

    Its so obvious he loves his asshole self and his sarcasm. I think he looks forward to being an ass. If it was me asking the question id tell him to either answer or shut the funk up.

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