Considering his trade to the Celtics was followed closely by Kevin Garnett’s trade and eventually a championship, it’s easy to forget that people questioned the Celtics giving up the fifth pick in a loaded draft for Ray Allen, who was coming off surgery on both of his ankles. Now we wonder if he’ll wear a Boston jersey on his Hall of Fame bust, but back in 2007, trading for Ray Allen wasn’t a sure bet.
It wasn’t because his skills had diminished, mind you. After all, the 26.4 points per game Ray averaged during his 55-game 2006-07 season were the most of his career. It was just the injuries, which have persisted to this day, with the 36-year-old shooting guard missing time this season with a variety of hurties, including a sore right ankle that has kept him out of the Celtics’ past four games.
Now, you might think that old age and constantly sprained ankles might be the reason that Ray Allen’s ankles keep getting hurt, but you’re wrong. It’s because his legs are so strong, duh. Here’s Ray, talking to CSSNE.com’s Jessica Camerato:
“I’ve been told that I have huge calf muscles my whole life,” Allen, 36, said earlier this month. “But they’re always like the bane of my pain, of my existence, because I always feel tightness in there. When they do get tight, it keeps my ankles from moving.”
This might be the most roundabout way to brag about how strong you are that I am aware of — “I keep hurting my ankles because my legs are so strong and well-defined.” It is not quite a humblebrag. It’s more of an explainabrag.
As a bro with always hurting ankles, I wish I had Ray Allen’s problems. I wish I could show everyone my perfectly sculpted calves as a reason why I have to wear an ankle brace any time I play hoops. Stupid Kerby ankles, always flopping about.
Then again, I also wish I had Ray Allen’s jumper, piano skills and unlimited supply of customized Jordans. Might as well just add giant calf muscles to the list.