Sign: The Permissive Orangey
Concept: “Thanks for your eight wonderful years. We understand if you want to leave.”
Verdict: This is a wonderful sentiment, and one I think most Suns fans agree with. Steve Nash played eight great years in Phoenix, two of which are gravy. If he wants to chase a championship at age 38, I don’t think anybody would blame him. We’ll see what they have to say if he signs with the Miami Heat, but for now, this is how a lot of people feel. Points off, however, for taking maybe 90 seconds to write this sign. More points off for the superfluous 13 that seems thrown on for no good reason.
Score: 7.9 (out of 10)
Sign: The 8×10 Glossy (on the left)
Concept: “This could be Steve Nash’s last game and I’m sitting near the tunnel. I better bring something for him to sign, just in case.”
Verdict: Pretty much the only “sign” that could be worse than this is tearing out a picture from a newspaper, folding it up in your jeans and forgetting it was there for two weeks, putting your jeans through the wash, then wearing those same jeans to this game, only to realize it might be the last time you’ll see Steve Nash in a Suns uniform, so you reach in your pocket and pull out this crusty picture and hold it up like it’s a real thing. After that comes this. Step your sign game up.
Score: 1.4 (out of 10)
Sign: The Giant Penis (on the right)
Concept: “I’m going to be on TV, so I am going to draw a giant penis for laughs.”
Verdict: Well, this is just a drawing of a penis, so I don’t know what you want me to say. Needs more veins?
Score: 10.0 (out of 10)
Sign: The Angry Mob (in the middle)
Concept: “If Steve Nash tries to leave, we’re chasing him down.”
Verdict: I am very confused about the thinking behind this sign. It’s in orange, and it looks like it’s being held by Suns fans, so I guess they are trying to say they want to keep Nash. But then why would they say “Let’s get him?” It doesn’t make any sense. Maybe they are saying that if Steve Nash leaves, they will chase him with flaming torches and pitchforks, like he is a monster. Beats me.
Score: 2.7 (out of 10), 6.3 if you read it as “Let’s Get Nashty,” as some commenters have suggested
Sign: The Giant Head
Concept: “Well, I’ve got this giant Steve Nash head, so I might as well bring it.”
Verdict: I dipped in to the Getty Images database to figure out when this picture is from, since it’s obviously not Nash’s current hair, and I’d guess it’s from the Suns’ 2010 Media Day. Which means this guy has either had a humongous Steve Nash head for a year and a half or he just decided this was his favorite Steve Nash look. Either way, interesting choice. Hairstyle aside, I like the reaction of the guy in the blue t-shirt who is like, “UGH, enough with the giant head. Geez.”
Score: 6.2 (out of 10)