Over the years, there have been a lot of guys touted as Kobe Stoppers. Your Ruben Pattersons, your Raja Bells, your Doug Christies — you’ve heard the names. Just a bunch of random guards who made their names making things tough for Kobe Bryant.

But you’re not going to believe this — Kobe Bryant says there is no such thing as a Kobe Stopper. Shocking, I know. From a Los Angeles Times interview:

Obviously no one can stop Kobe Bryant, but there are many self-proclaimed Kobe Stoppers out there. Who’s the best out of them?

The best one would probably be the one that got the best deal off of saying he was a Kobe Stopper. They just do that a lot of times when they’re free agents, and they get big contracts off of it.

But no one can hold up to the name?

[laughing] No. Not one-on-one. No.

This is probably the least surprising thing that Kobe Bryant could ever say. Were you expecting him to admit that someone could shut him down? Not bloody likely. That’s like asking Courtney Love if she thinks Kurt Cobain is the reason Nirvana was great. You know the answer you’re getting before the question is even asked.

By Kobe’s measure, I guess you’d say the best Kobe Stopper is Ruben Patterson, who signed a gigantic contract with the Trail Blazers because he started calling himself “the Kobe Stopper.” That’s probably the best that giving yourself a nickname has ever gone. Or maybe it’s Shane Battier, who peaked when those clips of him almost touching Kobe’s face coincided with Michael Lewis’ New York Times profile. He’s still eating off those, so he’d also be a good choice for the ultimate Kobe Stopper, if we’re going by contracts.

Of course, if we’re really deciding this based on earnings, I guess that makes Vanessa Bryant the world’s foremost Kobe Bryant stopper. Ruben Patterson might have been overpaid for a while, but he never signed a $75 million contract.

Comments (19)

  1. Thabo Sefolosha

  2. I find it funny how so many people still see Kobe as this unstoppable offensive force. Sure, defense doesn’t have a huge impact on his game unless your name is Thabo Sefolosha, Shane Battier, or Tony Allen. However, Kobe basically stops himself by shooting 43% from the field. I wouldn’t call that unstoppable.

    • i agree. he’s shooting a low percentage right now and is saved by the fact that the Lakeshow got bigs cleaning the glass when he misses.

  3. Wow. I guess.. this is just sort of a mean spirited article? I mean, more than the usual “he can take it” negativity that’s usually thrown Kobe’s way, probably for good reason. Heavy lies the crown, I get it.

    But now Kobe’s Courtney Love? Put a button on it with the divorce joke? Is the rape stuff not fresh anymore? The kids’ve moved on?

    Ew.

  4. He’s saying that it takes at least a double team to stop him. I don’t see how this is controversial; this is true for a large number of scorers in the league. If only a double team stopped him from shooting…

  5. I can’t blame him for saying that being that he hasn’t met Ivan the Terrible.

  6. What about Bruce Bowen? He always did a pretty “okay” job on Kobe, certainly far better than any of the mentioned players!

  7. Tony Allen and more recently, Chandler Parsons

  8. he doth protest too much. No matter how much ESPN tries to tell you kobe is jordan, no matter how many rings he wins when he has HOF bigs around him, kobe’s legacy was marred when he just quit on his team against Phoenix in the playoffs.

  9. ha, loved the Vanessa Bryant line. She is the ultimate Kobe Stopper. Gimme those houses…

  10. Cosigned Martin. Article was ok, divorce joke was a low blow, even for Trey. Must be all those hormones following the retirement of B 52.

    Remember: she wasn’t with him shootin’ in the gym

  11. ha ha..kobys ex wife is the ultimate koby stoper..baaammm..cooold bloooded…

  12. Funny how over the years the Lakers have been trying to sign or trade for all the so called Kobe-stoppers.
    Matt Barnes, Ron Ron, trying to sign Raja Bell and Shane Battier.

  13. Tayshaun Prince. That is all

  14. Vanessa is The Ultimate Kobe Stopper !

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