We all know the Oklahoma City Thunder are a tight-knit bunch. We know their leader, Kevin Durant, always looks out for his teammates, even going so far as to insist that Thabo Sefolosha and Nenad Krstic join him on a Sports Illustrated cover. They’re a close group of guys who have played together for a couple of years and always have each other’s backs, even if it means they’d potentially have to fight Metta World Peace.
But what if there were a zombie apocalypse, then what? Thankfully, Nick Collison was asked that question by a GQ magazine reader, so we know the answer.
@IamAinsleyHayes Which teammates would survive a zombie apocalypse, and which ones wouldn’t?
I think most of us would. We are used to running and pushing through fatigue. We are used to being in stressful situations together, and we have each others’ backs. Sadly, however, I think we would lose a couple guys. Take, for instance, Reggie Jackson, our rookie, who cannot seem to stay awake for any extended period of time and passes out on all flights within five minutes [...]
I fear Reggie would doze off somewhere and the zombies would get to him. I think Kendrick Perkins would be OK at first, but eventually he would look at a zombie and not like the way the zombie was looking at him. If you know Perk the way I know Perk, you know he wouldn’t be able to resist getting face to face with the zombie and letting him know he doesn’t play. He could fight off a few of the zombies, but eventually there would be too many, and I’m worried he wouldn’t make it.
Meanwhile, James Harden would definitely survive, because a zombie is not going to want to get any of that beard in his throat while trying to eat his brain.
Props to Nick Collison, because all of these scenarios seem accurate. Zombies getting you while you’re sleeping is a legitimate concern in times like that and no one likes getting hair in their food. Plus, as we all know, Kendrick Perkins will fight pretty much anybody, even if they are an undead half-human who is desperate for some delicious hypothalamus. Nick Collison is really coming from a place of truth with this.
That being said, I’d actually be worried about Nick Collison if a science experiment went wrong and zombies took over Oklahoma City. Wouldn’t he just be setting screens to keep the zombies away from Kevin Durant and Russell Westbrook? If a zombie was charging at Nick Collison, I’m scared his instincts would kick in and he’d try to take a charge. With the way Nick Collison plays, there are lots of different ways he could accidentally be devoured by bloodthirsty zombies.
Judging by how well he knows his teammates and how they would deal in post-apocalyptic world, I’m sure he’s aware of this. I just want to voice my concern, should the worst happen. Someone needs to look out for Nick Collison, lest we all be chased by very sweaty, very relentless zombies with solid 12-footers.