Waking up this morning, I didn’t know it was going to be The Food Metaphors Jones, but I guess that is what is happening. First, Charles Barkley does his couscous routine. Now, Kevin Garnett is explaining that the Celtics coming on late is like baking a cake. It makes sense to him, so just go with it.

From WEEI:

“I always like to use baking a cake as an example,” said Garnett. “Nothing’s going to come out of the first two minutes. You have to sit there and wait on it, for y’all who know how to bake. Some of y’all don’t know how to bake, but don’t worry about it. Ask your mothers and fathers or something — someone who knows how to bake. But it’s very similar to that. You have to give it time for it to turn into what it’s going to be. Time tells everything when the results come, and I’m just glad we’re in a nice rhythm right now.”

Unlike cooking, baking is a science. Thanks to the different leavening agents, chemical processes and other baking terms, you have to be very precise when you are baking a cake, preferably yellow with chocolate frosting (the best cake) of which I ate at least three quarters of a 9×13″ pan last week. When you think of it like that, this is actually a very apt comparison to the Celtics.

Because they’re old, slow and offensively challenged, the Celtics have to do everything right to win a game. They have to stay constantly focused on defense, run through their sets and make their shots when they get them. Otherwise, the cake doesn’t rise, and when you bite in to it all the moisture in your mouth instantly disappears. (In this scenario, the cake is the winning score and the mouth moisture is points? I don’t know any more.)

Basically, Kevin Garnett is saying you have to wait for a delicious cake/the Boston Celtics to be good. I think that is the point and I think he’s right. Baking is complicated and so is basketball, but if you do it right, you’re going to be happy with the end product. Good things come to those to wait and the Miami Heat used an Easy-Bake Oven, or something like that.

Comments (16)


  2. finally, something non-weed-related for the “NBA players + baking” Google search

  3. Now see ?

    This is proof.
    Kevin Garnett is stupid, but he can uderstand shit as long as you compare it to erryday stuff…

    This is really full of truth (not any ingredient can mesh together and it can require a lot of time to do so), but it’s kind of the most retarded way to tell us that…

    I mean, it’s like : “you’re the simple-minded one Kevin, not us”…

    Great player, sure as hell, but goddamn he’s dumb.

    • Why do you think Garnett is dumb?

      • Yeah, why do you think he’s dumb? He wasn’t giving a presidential speech. He was probably joking around like he does during most of his interviews. Youtube his bar fight analogy.

        • *googling *Kevin Garnett Smart”
          Results “Big baby plays smart to win”

          Yeah, why ?
          He always makes such insightful statements…

          He’s bballl-smart, one of the finest, but he’s… yeah, dumb is a strong word, but anything more than “street-smart” doesn’t apply to that guy…

      • Come on, the guy makes a cake analogy and is high-brow about it…

        I mean : come on !

  4. KG sure hates people who can’t cook

    Kevin Garnett 5/6/12 “Some of y’all don’t know how to bake, but don’t worry about it. Ask your mothers and fathers or something — someone who knows how to bake.”

    Kevin Garnett 12/13/11 “If y’all don’t know what I’m talking about then you can’t cook and this doesn’t concern you.”

  5. I always thought the Celtics were a bunch of cupcakes. This quote proves it.

  6. This sounds more like a yeast cake than the sponge dough you are describing and placed in his hand, Trey, Though, if that is Baumkuchen in his hand, that takes very long to make and it’s a perfect fit right there.

  7. “I think they are more like a parfait. Everybody loves parfait.” – Donkey

  8. There’s more to ogres than people think

  9. It better be “Yellow Cake”

  10. Kevin Garnett needs his own baking show he’s got baking similes.

  11. CAKEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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