Round about this time last year, the Cleveland Cavaliers used the Los Angeles Clippers’ lottery balls to snare the first pick of the 2011 NBA Draft, thanks to a little good luck from Nick Gilbert, son of owner Dan Gilbert and the coolest person to have been associated with Cleveland since Bizzy Bone. But after a decent season led by No. 1 overall pick and presumed Rookie of the Year Kyrie Irving, the Cavs are back in the lottery.

So why not try the same thing again? Bring an awesome kid, use some of his special powers and get another top pick in a stacked draft. That’s exactly what the Cavs are doing and they’re hoping it works out the exact same way. From the Cleveland News-Herald:

“We are trying to repeat the same route, same people,” Gilbert said. “We’re trying to do everything in the same exact way.” Gilbert said Browns personalities Bernie Kosar, Joshua Cribbs and Joe Haden will be at the lottery in New York, along with Irving.

“We are very superstitious with this stuff,” Gilbert said.

Nick will try to recreate his magic from last year when the Cavs got the top pick.

“We’re going to bring Nick to the lottery,” Gilbert said. “If he doesn’t get the first pick, he’ll be grounded all summer.”

This is big. Not only does the future of the Cavs’ franchise hang in the balance, as a 15-year-old, everything attached to Nick Gilbert’s happiness depends on getting this pick.

You remember when you were 15. How much would it have sucked if your dad didn’t let you go hang out with your friends because you couldn’t get him the NBA Draft’s No. 1 pick? Even though those are very specific circumstances and very few of us have parents that own NBA franchises, it would suck a lot. That means he can’t see “The Dark Knight Rises” or go to all of Justin Bieber’s concerts or sit on a flag pole or whatever 15-year-olds do in 2012. All I know is that when you’re 15, doing things is the most important thing in the world, so this could be a potentially devastating night for Nick Gilbert.

But if the Cavaliers do end up with the No. 1 pick for the second year in a row, thanks to Nick’s bowtie, I’m thinking he should be get a substantial reward. He’s going to need a car when he gets his license and if he makes his dad that much money — Anthony Davis and Kyrie Irving on the same team is tantalizing — he should be in line for something pretty special. A team hasn’t had the No. 1 pick two years in a row since the Orlando Magic in 1993, so I’m thinking Mercedes.

(via SB Nation)

Comments (11)

  1. LOL did not read. Too busy downloading Doo Doo Jump.

  2. I realize most owners are scumbags from the Heat’s tax cheat to the Clippers’s terrible racist, but something so ill hits me whenever I imagine Dan Gilbert winning a championship.

  3. fuck this kid…stay away from this draft

  4. fun fact #1347: in Hungarian Kosar means basket.

    What a coincidence, Bernie Kosar is Hungarian-American..

  5. Dan Gilbert is probably one of the less “deserving” and worst owners in the NBA, Sterling being the obvious “champion” of that category.

    That being said, I’d be happy if Irving gets some help, even if it means playing for Gilbert. How much are you willing to bet Gilbert will mess this up anyways, trading for useless players and wasting draft picks, then both players end up in L.A., Chicago or NYC in 4-5 years, followed by an angry Gilbert promising his fans a championship in Cleveland before Irving/Davis get theirs somewhere else.

  6. Hot damn that kid has a huge, alien head.

  7. Also, everytime Cavs lose, He doen’t get dinner. Going to be a hungry year for nick

  8. Gilbert may be awful, but nobody beats previous cavs owner Ted Stepien, the man had a rule named after his futility.
    As for Nick, it’s not his fault for who his father is, who is to say that he isn’t just a nice down to earth kid who happens to rock a killer bow tie.

  9. Sit on a flag pole….pause. Super Gay.

  10. Ground your kid if he doesn’t win a game of chance.


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