Out of all the good stuff in Chris Ballard’s really great piece about getting to know Tim Duncan, this is BY FAR my favorite part. From Sports Illustrated:

O.K., it’s a toss-up as to how this will make you feel about Duncan: Did he once invite a bunch of teammates to a paintball course even though most had never played paintball? Perhaps. Did Duncan then stack his team with ringers and bring his own high-powered paintball gun? Maybe. Did he give certain players such as Danny Ferry guns that, according to Ferry, “were bent and shot six feet to the left every time”? There’s a chance. And did Duncan then take great delight in hunting down his teammates, chasing the pale, balding, shorts-wearing Ferry until he was in close range, at which point Duncan unleashed a hail of water-soluble hellfire upon the man? It’s possible.

Just in case you guys ever get the chance to play paintball with Tim Duncan, just remember to a) practice beforehand b) wear something somewhat more protective than shorts and c) bring your own gun. Otherwise, you’re ending up with several welts on your behind, courtesy of Tim Duncan and his shady tactics.

Oh, and don’t play paintball with Stephen Jackson either, but you already knew that. He’s way too good.