Remember when Amar’e Stoudemire punched the casing around a fire hydrant extinguisher? (Also, remember when the Knicks were in the playoffs?) It was a big story, mostly because it happened to a guy who played in New York, but also because slicing up your hand during the playoffs while punching glass leads itself to jokes upon jokes upon jokes.
One of those jokes came from our own J.E. Skeets, who penned a delightfully Onion-y piece titled “LeBron James punches Juwan Howard’s walking cane, leaves arena with arm in sling.” Laughs were had, links were tweeted and then we all moved on to the next laugh, which was probably a Chris Bosh face.
Until today, when that very same Skeets joke ended up in a Rick Reilly piece for ESPN where the scribe is defending LeBron James. Check it out.
OK, he’s not perfect. Threw a Gatorade cup. Punched a walking stick. Carries that stupid little man purse. But if you were to fill a plane with the most spoiled superstars in the country, he’d be boarding in the D group.
Unless Rick Reilly knows something that we don’t know, it looks like Rick Reilly is a little confused. Also confused? Me, while trying to figure out why someone would think that LeBron James would actually punch a walking stick. As far as I know, LeBron hasn’t punched anything, except for when people are using that term to describe a dunk.
It’s an easy mistake to make, confusing a satirical news piece with something that really happened. People do it all the time. So to make sure no one gets mixed up again, here are some other TBJ posts that were just jokes.
- Hedo Turkoglu didn’t actually request a trade to the Pistons because the guy who owns Little Caesars was going to buy the team.
- Kevin Durant didn’t actually score 284 points while playing against fifth graders. That game never happened.
- The Knicks never held an asbestos giveaway.
- Kevin Garnett is a human, not a dog.
- These aren’t the real recipes in the Dallas Mavericks cookbook.
- Glen Davis never lived inside of Shaquille O’Neal.
- A baby never got Chris Andersen’s tattoos.
- Darren Collison? Not a wizard.
- This is just an imagined conversation between Chris Bosh and himself.
- Jason Dysenterry isn’t a real disease.
- All of these Miami Heat injury-themed promotions are made up.
- As are the names of all these Thunder fans, though the emotions are real.
- Sam Perkins never stuffed his jersey with pizza.
- Penny Hardaway’s mustache isn’t a tiny Stealth bomber.
- Kobe Bryant didn’t have a group of men schvitzing on his face.
- Dr. James Naismith never came back from the grave to guard Rudy Gay.
Obviously, that isn’t everything, but it’s a good start. Just trying to help.
I support this blog entry and all others that utilize the word “schvitzing” in a sentence.
I’d vote taking this news the other way and making it TBJ’s goal to continue to confuse Rick Reilly. If he is willing to believe that fake story then you guys can pretty much get him to believe anything.
This is like Abortionplex all over again!
Uhhhh, spoilers?!
You guys pack a lot of topical jokes on here. This unfortunate Dwight Howard t-shirt, however, is hilariously no joke: http://store.nba.com/product/index.jsp?productId=12839090&cp=1421555.2795072
Yeah, that shirt might be on sale soon.
It was a fire extinguisher not a fire hydrant.
Rick Reilly wants to know where he can buy one of these pun guns he’s heard so much about.
Reilly’s next column: How do ATMs even work?
Are you talking about Ass-to-Mouth?
I took it like Reilly was joking there. Maybe he should post an article saying “Does TBJ think a Rick Reilly joke about a TBJ joke was real?”
looks like someone from miami new times picked up on it too …….. http://blogs.miaminewtimes.com/riptide/2012/06/espn_column_defending_lebron_s.php …they gave the necessary shoutouts to the score/tbj
Random anecdote: I briefly dated Rick Reilly’s son via okcupid. His parting words whenever he left my house were: “I gotta cruise.” Which I’m pretty sure no one has said in any context in the last 20 years. Nice guy though!
Haha nooo they still say it out here…..in West Hollywood…..