If you’ve ever heard Stephen Jackson talk about how good of a teammate he is — and he seems to do it quite a bit, actually — then you’ve heard him mention that Tim Duncan thinks he’s “the ultimate teammate.” It comes up a lot, like more than 76,000 times according to Google. Jackson’s mentioned it so often that it’s even on his Wikipedia page. Needless to say, what Timmy D thinks of Captain Jack is well documented.
But what about from the other side? What does Stephen Jackson think of Tim Duncan? Well, thanks to Jonathan Abrams’ definitive look at what makes Jackson tick, we now know that Stephen Jackson thinks he and Duncan are pretty much the same guy. From Grantland:
“I always make him laugh,” Jackson said of Duncan. “I tell Tim, if I was a person that could keep my composure, that didn’t wear my emotions on my sleeve, that was always focused, that was the smartest guy on earth, that was 7 feet, I would be Tim.”
I guess this is true? Hard to tell, but if you were to change everything that makes Stephen Jackson in to everything that makes Tim Duncan, then add four inches, it seems like you would maybe get Tim Duncan. The science doesn’t exist yet to test this hypothesis but the math seems like it works out.
Of course, for the transformation to be complete, Stephen Jackson would also need to find a way to make sure every hair on his head is the exact same length, become an amazing swimmer but never be seen swimming, and change his standard complain to a referee emotion from anger to befuddlement. Only then will he truly be Tim Duncan.
Oh, robots innards too, but that’s a given.