Have you always wanted a gigantic James Harden beard to honor your favorite left-handed sixth man, but don’t want to grow all that pesky facial hair? Lucky for you, the Tulsa World has a solution — cutout James Harden beards that are circulating in their dailies. Such a wonderful solution for the less hirsute among us, or for those of us whose significant others wouldn’t be OK with a small mammal hanging from our faces. Get yours right here.
But it doesn’t just stop at beards, the World also offers some suggestions for using your new fake beards.
Beard mask: Cut out beard. Attach tape at the ends to reinforce the paper and then poke small holes through the tape tabs. Tie pieces of string through the holes and tie at the back of your head.
Beard banner: Cut out several beards from papers and tape them to a string. Hang from a mantel or doorway where guests will be entering.
Beard fan(atic): Glue the beard cutout to cardboard, a manila folder or cardstock for stability and then cut out the cardboard. Glue the beard to a tongue depressor. Then, feel free to wave your beard in the air, like you just don’t care.
Beard centerpiece Cut out five beards and glue or tape them together at the sideburns, forming a circle. Use as a centerpiece on your party table around candles, serving bowls, etc.
While those are all really great suggestions that everyone should do, I think we can all agree that the best of those wonderful ideas is making a beard mask. No offense, Tulsa World, but creating a centerpiece out of paper to hold candles is a fire hazard.
So let’s stick to beards. I’m wearing one right now, in fact. And really, they look great on everyone. I took the time to put James Harden beards on some people who have meant a lot to me over the years, just to prove to you how versatile this look really is.
Abraham Lincoln, 16th President of the United States of America
Will Smith, triple threat/probable Scientologist
Joey Fatone, N’sync glue guy
1985 Bill Wennington, future Canadian Hall of Famer
Andre 3000, likely star of James Harden biopic
Vin Diesel, world’s greatest living actor
As you can see, this look works on everyone. Plus, it’s an easy way to turn a whole bunch of people who probably don’t care about basketball in to Thunder fans. With the NBA Finals starting tonight — and OKC at a distinct disadvantage of star power in the crowd — that’s a huge help. Sure, Miami can offer Birdman and Gloria Estefan, but now that the Thunder have one of America’s most important presidents and both Vin Diesel and Will Smith, things are a bit more even.
Feel free to make your own beard faces and share them with us on our Facebook page. The more the hairier.
(via That NBA Lottery Pick)