Witness testimony in the case of Dominican national basketball team vs. Charlie Villanueva’s gut, as given by head coach John Calipari, as provided by the Detroit News:
“Charlie was not in good form when we saw him,” Calipari told Deportes en la Z. “He was overweight, and unfortunately, we could not slow down the entire team and it was a decision taken collectively. Last year, Charlie behaved really well with us and his only problem was his weight.”
Rebuttal in the case of Dominican national basketball team vs. Charlie Villanueva’s gut, as given by Charlie Villanueva, as provided by Charlie Villanueva:
Lol case closed
Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, you’ve heard the testimonies and seen the evidence. Now it falls to you to make a decision — are you going to believe a slimy coach who has had huge successes followed by embarrassing punishments at each of his stops or are you going to believe an overpaid underachiever who has played for three teams in seven seasons and just missed the majority of this past season? It’s a tough decision but we have every confidence that you will make the correct choice.
If a unanimous decision cannot be reached, the case will be declared a mistrial and everyone will go back to not caring about the Dominican national basketball team or Charlie Villanueva. The case is in your hands.