Witness testimony in the case of Dominican national basketball team vs. Charlie Villanueva’s gut, as given by head coach John Calipari, as provided by the Detroit News:

“Charlie was not in good form when we saw him,” Calipari told Deportes en la Z. “He was overweight, and unfortunately, we could not slow down the entire team and it was a decision taken collectively. Last year, Charlie behaved really well with us and his only problem was his weight.”

Rebuttal in the case of Dominican national basketball team vs. Charlie Villanueva’s gut, as given by Charlie Villanueva, as provided by Charlie Villanueva:

Lol case closed

Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, you’ve heard the testimonies and seen the evidence. Now it falls to you to make a decision — are you going to believe a slimy coach who has had huge successes followed by embarrassing punishments at each of his stops or are you going to believe an overpaid underachiever who has played for three teams in seven seasons and just missed the majority of this past season? It’s a tough decision but we have every confidence that you will make the correct choice.

If a unanimous decision cannot be reached, the case will be declared a mistrial and everyone will go back to not caring about the Dominican national basketball team or Charlie Villanueva. The case is in your hands.

(via BDL)

Comments (7)

  1. Gut was on the towel rack

  2. NBA.com lists Charlie as 232lb. By that measurement Charlie is 11.5 pounds overweight.

    Plus, as we all know if Charlie could be of any use to that team Cal would have him on the roster. Thus it’s reasonable to conclude that at this point Charlie is worthless.

  3. It blows my mind that he actually won something once.

  4. Photoshop. U can tell from the pixels.

  5. I learned from Donovan McNabb’s stay in Washington that when the coach says you can’t play because you are overweight, he’s trying to nicely say that you can’t really play anymore and he needs an excuse for why he isn’t playing you. I say nice because you can theoretically lose the weight. It’s harder to spontaneously not suck.

  6. Solid comments all around, everyone. A+ Simpsons reference, Matt.

  7. As a Bucks fan, its super crazy because we actually made the right decision to let this guy go despite his ridiculous season in Milwaukee.

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